The Ventriloquist
01-16-2005, 07:55 AM
#42
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Two guys sitting in a bar, not a lot happening as they are the only customers.
One starts talking to the other, in a heavy Irish accent: Where are you from mate?
Second answers in an equally heavy Irish accent: I'm from Ireland.
No kidding says the first one'. I'm from Ireland! Let me buy you a Guinness!
So, where in Ireland are you from then?
From Dublin, mate.
No kidding, I'm from Dublin!
Barman, two more Guinness please!
So where exactly in Dublin?
Sandymount..
Get out of here! I'm from Sandymount!
Barman, 2 Guinness and a couple of Bushmills!
So whereabouts in Sandymount then?
Churchill Terrace..
No friggin way! I'm from Churchill Terrace!
Barman, 2 more Guinness and a couple of Bushmills!
What number then?
28!
Piss off! ? live on 28!
They leave the bar together, pissed as a fart and singing.
Another guys walks in to the now empty bar, asks the barman:
Been busy today then John?
Neh, he says, just the O'Reilly brothers as usual
One starts talking to the other, in a heavy Irish accent: Where are you from mate?
Second answers in an equally heavy Irish accent: I'm from Ireland.
No kidding says the first one'. I'm from Ireland! Let me buy you a Guinness!
So, where in Ireland are you from then?
From Dublin, mate.
No kidding, I'm from Dublin!
Barman, two more Guinness please!
So where exactly in Dublin?
Sandymount..
Get out of here! I'm from Sandymount!
Barman, 2 Guinness and a couple of Bushmills!
So whereabouts in Sandymount then?
Churchill Terrace..
No friggin way! I'm from Churchill Terrace!
Barman, 2 more Guinness and a couple of Bushmills!
What number then?
28!
Piss off! ? live on 28!
They leave the bar together, pissed as a fart and singing.
Another guys walks in to the now empty bar, asks the barman:
Been busy today then John?
Neh, he says, just the O'Reilly brothers as usual
01-16-2005, 11:12 AM
#44
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Originally Posted by Flowerfred' date='Jan 16 2005, 05:55 PM
Two guys sitting in a bar..
Probably blonde as well.
01-20-2005, 03:18 PM
#47
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
Rushing over to her, he quickly asks, "Honey, are you OK?"
As she gasps for air, she quietly replies, "Yes."
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb and I wanted to do it by painting the house," she logically answered.
"But why do you have a ski jacket over your fur coat?"
"I read the directions on the paint can and they said.....
I love this one .
'FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.'"
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
Rushing over to her, he quickly asks, "Honey, are you OK?"
As she gasps for air, she quietly replies, "Yes."
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb and I wanted to do it by painting the house," she logically answered.
"But why do you have a ski jacket over your fur coat?"
"I read the directions on the paint can and they said.....
I love this one .
'FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.'"
01-24-2005, 08:03 AM
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? Why did the blond have square boobs
A She forgot to take the tissue out of the box
A She forgot to take the tissue out of the box