The Ventriloquist
02-18-2005, 08:48 AM
#141
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Location: White Plains, NY
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My Ride: 2008 550, Carbon Black Metallic, Natural Brown Dakota Leather, Sport Package, Sport Automatic Transmission, Cold Weather Package, Power Rear and Manual Side Sun Shades, etc.
Retired - 2004 545 SMG, Black Sapphire Metallic, Auburn Dakota Leather, Cold Weather and Sports Packages, Power Rear and Manual Side Sun Shades
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
02-18-2005, 08:50 AM
#142
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Location: White Plains, NY
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My Ride: 2008 550, Carbon Black Metallic, Natural Brown Dakota Leather, Sport Package, Sport Automatic Transmission, Cold Weather Package, Power Rear and Manual Side Sun Shades, etc.
Retired - 2004 545 SMG, Black Sapphire Metallic, Auburn Dakota Leather, Cold Weather and Sports Packages, Power Rear and Manual Side Sun Shades
Two dumb blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
02-18-2005, 09:32 AM
#144
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin, Eire
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Hhmmm. Much scrapage!!!!
03-06-2005, 11:57 AM
#146
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Location: Boston Mass
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A blond was on an airplane with an economy ticket to Philadelphia. She randomly decides to go to First Class.
The steward goes up to her and says "Your ticket is not for first class. Please move back to the economy class where you belong".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The steward goes to the captain and says "We have a problem. A blond is refusing to move". The captain says "I'll handle it".
The captain goes up to her and says "Madam. Can you please move to your correct seat? There's an old couple who have purchased tickets for these seats.".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The captain goes to the pilot and tells him "Hey we have a problem. A blond is refusing to get out of her seat".
The pilot says "Oh, I have a wife that's blond and I know how to speak blond".
The pilot goes to the blond and whispers something in her ear and she gets up and moves back to economy (The old couple rejoice).
The captain and the stewardess ask the pilot what he said to her.
The pilot replied "I told her that first class wasn't going to Philadelphia"
-The Pentium Guy
The steward goes up to her and says "Your ticket is not for first class. Please move back to the economy class where you belong".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The steward goes to the captain and says "We have a problem. A blond is refusing to move". The captain says "I'll handle it".
The captain goes up to her and says "Madam. Can you please move to your correct seat? There's an old couple who have purchased tickets for these seats.".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The captain goes to the pilot and tells him "Hey we have a problem. A blond is refusing to get out of her seat".
The pilot says "Oh, I have a wife that's blond and I know how to speak blond".
The pilot goes to the blond and whispers something in her ear and she gets up and moves back to economy (The old couple rejoice).
The captain and the stewardess ask the pilot what he said to her.
The pilot replied "I told her that first class wasn't going to Philadelphia"
-The Pentium Guy
03-07-2005, 02:06 PM
#150
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Stourbridge, UK
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My Ride: 535D Sport Auto
Originally Posted by EBMCS03' date='Mar 7 2005, 12:13 AM
HAHAHA? 
[snapback]98093[/snapback]
A couple are getting ready to go out for the evening. The lady finishes in the shower as he goes in. The doorbell rings and she goes to the door with a towel wrapped around her. She opens the door and their next-door neighbour is stood at the door. He says I'll give you $800 dollars if you let the towel drop to the floor. She thinks about it for a few seconds and then decides to go along with it. The neighbour pays the money as agreed and she goes back upstairs. Her husband says "Who was at the door"? and she says "Oh only Bob from next-door" he replies "Did he mention the $800 he owes me"!