The Ventriloquist
03-07-2005, 04:45 PM
#151
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Originally Posted by Merv the Derv' date='Mar 7 2005, 03:06 PM
[quote name='EBMCS03' date='Mar 7 2005, 12:13 AM']HAHAHA? 
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A couple are getting ready to go out for the evening. The lady finishes in the shower as he goes in. The doorbell rings and she goes to the door with a towel wrapped around her. She opens the door and their next-door neighbour is stood at the door. He says I'll give you $800 dollars if you let the towel drop to the floor. She thinks about it for a few seconds and then decides to go along with it. The neighbour pays the money as agreed and she goes back upstairs. Her husband says "Who was at the door"? and she says "Oh only Bob from next-door" he replies "Did he mention the $800 he owes me"!
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[/quote]Hahhaha I heard somthing similiar... It was like Husband goes out to the market to buy somthing and His friend comes over and goes asks if the Husband was home, wife replies no but will be back shortly and offers him to come in and wait. While waiting he offers the wife $100 if she shows him one of her boobs so she does and the friend gives her $100 after a little more waiting he offers her another $100 to show him the other boob and of course she does. Then the friend goes actually Im going to go I cant wait any longer.
P.S. I gotta warn my future wife about this kinda stuff LOL actually NAH... I'll never lend anyone money. Maybe $5 LOL Uh O... $5
03-08-2005, 04:15 AM
#153
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Originally Posted by The Pentium Guy' date='Mar 6 2005, 08:57 PM
A blond was on an airplane with an economy ticket to Philadelphia. She randomly decides to go to First Class.
The steward goes up to her and says "Your ticket is not for first class. Please move back to the economy class where you belong".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The steward goes to the captain and says "We have a problem. A blond is refusing to move". The captain says "I'll handle it".
The captain goes up to her and says "Madam. Can you please move to? your correct seat? There's an old couple who have purchased tickets for these seats.".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The captain goes to the pilot and tells him "Hey we have a problem. A blond is refusing to get out of her seat".
The pilot says "Oh, I have a wife that's blond and I know how to speak blond".
The pilot goes to the blond and whispers something in her ear and she gets up and moves back to economy (The old couple rejoice).
The captain and the stewardess ask the pilot what he said to her.
The pilot replied "I told her that first class wasn't going to Philadelphia"
-The Pentium Guy
The steward goes up to her and says "Your ticket is not for first class. Please move back to the economy class where you belong".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The steward goes to the captain and says "We have a problem. A blond is refusing to move". The captain says "I'll handle it".
The captain goes up to her and says "Madam. Can you please move to? your correct seat? There's an old couple who have purchased tickets for these seats.".
To which she replies "NO. Im blond and I'm beautiful and I'm staying here!"
The captain goes to the pilot and tells him "Hey we have a problem. A blond is refusing to get out of her seat".
The pilot says "Oh, I have a wife that's blond and I know how to speak blond".
The pilot goes to the blond and whispers something in her ear and she gets up and moves back to economy (The old couple rejoice).
The captain and the stewardess ask the pilot what he said to her.
The pilot replied "I told her that first class wasn't going to Philadelphia"
-The Pentium Guy
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I really think that's definitely the best one
03-08-2005, 04:36 AM
#154
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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
The blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this
store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"YES!", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM !"
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
The blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this
store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"YES!", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM !"
03-08-2005, 04:55 AM
#155
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Hey IrishEyes, you keep getting all those funny jokes everyday and i think the only times that i laugh on any day is when reading your posts!
Thanks!!
Thanks!!
03-08-2005, 07:02 AM
#156
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Originally Posted by ghassane' date='Mar 8 2005, 02:55 PM
Hey IrishEyes, you keep getting all those funny jokes everyday and i think the only times that i laugh on any day is when reading your posts!
Thanks!!
Thanks!!
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My wife is seeing me laughing and asks me if I'm reading the forum again...
03-08-2005, 08:19 AM
#157
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Originally Posted by Iceman' date='Mar 8 2005, 05:02 PM
[quote name='ghassane' date='Mar 8 2005, 02:55 PM']Hey IrishEyes, you keep getting all those funny jokes everyday and i think the only times that i laugh on any day is when reading your posts!
Thanks!!
Thanks!!
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My wife is seeing me laughing and asks me if I'm reading the forum again...
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[/quote]Anything to keep the kids happy.
I'll have to stay off this forum. All work and no PAY and all that...
03-10-2005, 08:04 AM
#160
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A blonde went to electronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."