BMW Car Security system
Senior Members
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 546
Likes: 0
From: Little Rock, Arkansas, USA
Here's my thoughts: Guy steals your e60. Immediately curbs the wheels. Gets cold, hits heated seats, gets right buttcheek scortched and pants catch on fire. Active steering malfunctions, and crook gets rearended. Squeeks and rattles from back seat cause crook to become semi-delusional. He punches throttle, which lags due to improper software version. Crook gets hot, and tries to open windows, which keep going up and down, with I-Drive saying that someone's arm is in the window. Crook's windshield cracks for no reason. Crook plays your Steely Dan "Katy Lied" CD, and despises the Logic 7 sound. Crook hates howling noise from runflats and wishes he could steal someone's tires to put on car. Crook's engine compartment sounds like a Model T when car is cold.
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
Contributors
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 160
Likes: 0
From: Tampa, FL
My Ride: 2004 530i, titanium gray, gray interior, NAV, adaptive headlights, window screens, folddown rear seats, PDC
[/QUOTE] Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?[QUOTE]
Crook sues you and wins!!!!!!!!!
So what are you worried about?[QUOTE]
Crook sues you and wins!!!!!!!!!
Super Moderator
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 17,310
Likes: 2
From: Pittsburgh, PA USA
My Ride: G30 M550i
Model Year: 2018
Originally Posted by Evenflow545' date='Mar 6 2005, 10:01 PM
Here's my thoughts:? Guy steals your e60.? ? Immediately curbs the wheels.? ? ? Gets cold, hits heated seats, gets right buttcheek scortched and pants catch on fire.? ? Active steering malfunctions, and crook gets rearended.? ? Squeeks and rattles from back seat cause crook to become semi-delusional.? ? He punches throttle, which lags due to improper software version.? ? Crook gets hot, and tries to open windows, which keep going up and down, with I-Drive saying that someone's arm is in the window.? ? Crook's windshield cracks for no reason.? ? Crook plays your Steely Dan "Katy Lied" CD, and despises the Logic 7 sound.? ? Crook hates howling noise from runflats and wishes he could steal someone's tires to put on car.? ? Crook's engine compartment sounds like a Model T when car is cold.?
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
[snapback]98064[/snapback]
Here are some you forgot:
Crook goes to park the car but the PDC display takes too long to come up so he backs into a fire hydrant.
Later on, he tries to open the trunk but instead sets off the panic alarm.
After he recovers from that, he can't seem to stop alternating the turn signals after he accidentally activated the left one then tried to cancel it with the right one.
He ends up getting pulled over by a cop after he was driving down a road with alternating sunny and shady spots. The automatic headlights kept turning on and off and the officer thought he was flashing him.
Any others?
Contributors
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 14,776
Likes: 0
From: So Cal, USA
My Ride: 545iSMGSilver GrayAuburn Dakota LeatherLogic 7 Premium SoundSports Package
Originally Posted by alohalc' date='Mar 6 2005, 09:47 PM
crook doesn't even know how to start the car because he didn't step on the brake pedal.
[snapback]98109[/snapback]
Members
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44
Likes: 0
From: Birmingham, UK
My Ride: 530D SE Touring, Titanium Grey, 122 Wheels, Pro Nav, Pro Phone, Pro Radio, Advanced Air, 6 Disc Autochanger, Dakota Black Leather, Auto, Panoramic Sunroof, De chrome, mats, Bi-xenons, PDC, Service inclusive and Tracker.
Originally Posted by Rudy' date='Mar 7 2005, 03:58 AM
[quote name='Evenflow545' date='Mar 6 2005, 10:01 PM']Here's my thoughts:?? Guy steals your e60.? ? Immediately curbs the wheels.? ? ? Gets cold, hits heated seats, gets right buttcheek scortched and pants catch on fire.? ? Active steering malfunctions, and crook gets rearended.? ? Squeeks and rattles from back seat cause crook to become semi-delusional.? ?? He punches throttle, which lags due to improper software version.? ?? Crook gets hot, and tries to open windows, which keep going up and down, with I-Drive saying that someone's arm is in the window.? ?? Crook's windshield cracks for no reason.? ? Crook plays your Steely Dan "Katy Lied" CD, and despises the Logic 7 sound.? ? Crook hates howling noise from runflats and wishes he could steal someone's tires to put on car.? ?? Crook's engine compartment sounds like a Model T when car is cold.??
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
[snapback]98064[/snapback]
Here are some you forgot:
Crook goes to park the car but the PDC display takes too long to come up so he backs into a fire hydrant.
Later on, he tries to open the trunk but instead sets off the panic alarm.
After he recovers from that, he can't seem to stop alternating the turn signals after he accidentally activated the left one then tried to cancel it with the right one.
He ends up getting pulled over by a cop after he was driving down a road with alternating sunny and shady spots. The automatic headlights kept turning on and off and the officer thought he was flashing him.
Any others?
[snapback]98079[/snapback]
[/quote]Opens the sunroof to let his a** cool down but then it rains and he can not shut it so the well sealed car starts to fill up with water and crook whilst investigating the grinding noise from the steering wheel drowns because he can not open the windows due to the anti trap function fault!
My wife's car is a write off because they cannot open the doors because the rechargeable battery in the key has gone flat so the body stays in the car, as the sunroof has now shut itself because the sun is shinning!
My wife gets a new car (not BMW) and we all live happily ever after.
He would have to nick it from the garage mind because it spends more time there than it does on our drive. We have had it 6 months and my neighbour commented that it was about time we took the demo car back and enquired why we keep having it back, have we not made our mind up yet?
Charming, I wish it was a demo! I going to have the tracker removed in the hope that it does get stolen and they keep it!
Senior Members
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 328
Likes: 0
From: one of the square states in the middle, USA
Originally Posted by Rudy' date='Mar 6 2005, 10:58 PM
[quote name='Evenflow545' date='Mar 6 2005, 10:01 PM']Here's my thoughts:?? Guy steals your e60.? ? Immediately curbs the wheels.? ? ? Gets cold, hits heated seats, gets right buttcheek scortched and pants catch on fire.? ? Active steering malfunctions, and crook gets rearended.? ? Squeeks and rattles from back seat cause crook to become semi-delusional.? ?? He punches throttle, which lags due to improper software version.? ?? Crook gets hot, and tries to open windows, which keep going up and down, with I-Drive saying that someone's arm is in the window.? ?? Crook's windshield cracks for no reason.? ? Crook plays your Steely Dan "Katy Lied" CD, and despises the Logic 7 sound.? ? Crook hates howling noise from runflats and wishes he could steal someone's tires to put on car.? ?? Crook's engine compartment sounds like a Model T when car is cold.??
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
Crook returns car.
So what are you worried about?
[snapback]98064[/snapback]
Here are some you forgot:
Crook goes to park the car but the PDC display takes too long to come up so he backs into a fire hydrant.
Later on, he tries to open the trunk but instead sets off the panic alarm.
After he recovers from that, he can't seem to stop alternating the turn signals after he accidentally activated the left one then tried to cancel it with the right one.
He ends up getting pulled over by a cop after he was driving down a road with alternating sunny and shady spots. The automatic headlights kept turning on and off and the officer thought he was flashing him.
Any others?
[snapback]98079[/snapback]
[/quote]In closing trunk Crook scratches paint on deck lid because he doesn't know about the interior handles...
