The Ventriloquist
08-16-2005, 01:38 PM
#201
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
There was a young BLONDE girl going out on a her first date and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys.
He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"He is going to try to put his hand between your legs, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"But most important, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she said.
"But," she said, "Grandmother I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family!"
He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"He is going to try to put his hand between your legs, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
"But most important, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she said.
"But," she said, "Grandmother I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family!"
08-16-2005, 02:46 PM
#203
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Model Year: 2013
Originally Posted by alohalc' date='Aug 16 2005, 11:40 PM
you have her phone number 
?
?[snapback]159997[/snapback]
Bad boy...
You want me to PM you her number?
08-16-2005, 04:07 PM
#204
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My Ride: 545iSMGSilver GrayAuburn Dakota LeatherLogic 7 Premium SoundSports Package
Originally Posted by Iceman' date='Aug 16 2005, 03:46 PM
[quote name='alohalc' date='Aug 16 2005, 11:40 PM']you have her phone number ?
?[snapback]159997[/snapback]
Bad boy...
You want me to PM you her number?
[snapback]160023[/snapback]
[/quote]
08-16-2005, 04:13 PM
#205
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Originally Posted by Iceman' date='Aug 16 2005, 12:46 PM
[quote name='alohalc' date='Aug 16 2005, 11:40 PM']you have her phone number ?
?[snapback]159997[/snapback]
Bad boy...
You want me to PM you her number?
[snapback]160023[/snapback]
[/quote]no, i don't want the one that you have. you only have the grandma's number
.
08-16-2005, 04:25 PM
#206
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Originally Posted by alohalc' date='Aug 17 2005, 02:13 AM
no, i don't want the one that you have.? you only have the grandma's number ? .
? .[snapback]160063[/snapback]
08-18-2005, 03:29 PM
#207
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Theres a new blond paint just out.
It's not very bright, it's cheap and it spreads easily.
It's not very bright, it's cheap and it spreads easily.
12-06-2005, 01:26 PM
#209
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Not another one...
As a trucker in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde catches
up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on
the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is
Heather andyou are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and
proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again
catches up.She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the
blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of
your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens
again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up,
knocks on the truck door.The trucker lowers the window. Again she says
"Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to
the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the
truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she
lowers it, he says.......
"Hi,my name is Kevin and I'm driving a f**king gritter!"
As a trucker in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde catches
up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on
the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is
Heather andyou are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and
proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again
catches up.She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the
blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of
your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens
again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up,
knocks on the truck door.The trucker lowers the window. Again she says
"Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to
the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the
truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she
lowers it, he says.......
"Hi,my name is Kevin and I'm driving a f**king gritter!"
12-06-2005, 02:50 PM
#210
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Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='208063' date='Dec 6 2005, 11:26 PM
...I'm driving a f**king gritter!"
KEWL
I only know this joke in German. Now I finally know the english word for those trucks: gritter...
