LOL don't believe the dealership.. thats bullshit. My car did the same thing, I jump started it and drove home. I got like 10 malfunction, all of which went off slowly as I drove home. The next morning, same thing the car wouldnt start. I jumpstarted it again, went to BMW and bought a new battery ($280) and then drove to Atlanta with no errors. The reason why your car wouldn't turn on is because the battery was too drained so it takes a while for it to actually juice up enough to power the car. Go get your car, buy a new battery and you'll be good.

 

$280 for a battery? Are yuou sure it's an E60 you have rather than the space shuttle

 

Jump starting an E60 is not a problem at all. Just do it the right way!

 

Note that jump starting is supported by the manufacture for dead battery situations and the procedures are clearly detailed in the owners manual.