Windshield Bug
04-10-2009, 11:25 AM
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My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
OK guys, I've been holding this one back as it's...well...whatever. I figure since I'm already on the ropes, I might as well go down swinging.
WINDSHIELD BUG
A man and a woman were driving down the road,
arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the
woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off.
Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his
6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at
her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car
windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father,
'Daddy, what the heck was that?'
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl
to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied,
'It was only a bug, Honey.'
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face,
and after a moment said...
'Sure had a big dick, didn't it?
WINDSHIELD BUG
A man and a woman were driving down the road,
arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the
woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off.
Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his
6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at
her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car
windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father,
'Daddy, what the heck was that?'
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl
to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied,
'It was only a bug, Honey.'
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face,
and after a moment said...
'Sure had a big dick, didn't it?
04-10-2009, 11:28 AM
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Not a bad effort 
04-10-2009, 11:29 AM
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CWS...this joke was much funnier then the other debacle you posted
04-10-2009, 11:58 AM
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It's the old John Bobbit joke brought back from the dead!! 
04-10-2009, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='843396' date='Apr 10 2009, 02:58 PM
It's the old John Bobbit joke brought back from the dead!!
Super good--for a forum member. (I still think that BMW forum members have no sense of humor. (Forum members on Vette and Caddy forums are nowhere near as serious.)
04-10-2009, 01:26 PM
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My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Originally Posted by z06bigbird' post='843417' date='Apr 10 2009, 03:14 PM
Super good--for a forum member. (I still think that BMW forum members have no sense of humor. (Forum members on Vette and Caddy forums are nowhere near as serious.)