Windshield Bug
Thread Starter
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,998
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From: St. Louis Burbs, USA
My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
OK guys, I've been holding this one back as it's...well...whatever. I figure since I'm already on the ropes, I might as well go down swinging.
WINDSHIELD BUG
A man and a woman were driving down the road,
arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the
woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off.
Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his
6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at
her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car
windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father,
'Daddy, what the heck was that?'
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl
to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied,
'It was only a bug, Honey.'
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face,
and after a moment said...
'Sure had a big dick, didn't it?
WINDSHIELD BUG
A man and a woman were driving down the road,
arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the
woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off.
Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his
6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at
her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car
windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father,
'Daddy, what the heck was that?'
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl
to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied,
'It was only a bug, Honey.'
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face,
and after a moment said...
'Sure had a big dick, didn't it?
Contributors
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,118
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From: Northamptonshire UK
My Ride: Week 17 Build, 2008 E60 535d M Sport - Titanium Silver, Black Dakota Leather, Visibility Package, Media Package, Automatic gearbox, Steering Wheel Heating, M Double Spoke 172 19" Mixed Wheels, Auto-Dim+Exterior Mirror, Comfort seats, Front Seat Heating, Aluminium Pentan interior trim,DAB Tuner, TV Function, BMW Individual Audio System 825W !!
Not a bad effort 
Contributors
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 491
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From: Richmond, VA
My Ride: 2005 (01/05 Build) Titanium Silver Metallic 530i, Black Dakota Leather Interior w/Dark Poplar Wood Trim, Cold, Premium & Sport Packages, Steptronic, Bluetooth
MODS: OEM 166's (M5 Offset) on General's (245/35 & 275/30), 15mm H&R Spacers, Auxiliary Audio Input, 6000K Xenon Headlights and Matching HID Fogs, AIB v3.0, SprintBooster, OEM LED License Plate Bulbs, Smoked LED Side Markers, Matte Black Kidney Grills
CWS...this joke was much funnier then the other debacle you posted
Contributors
Joined: Oct 2007
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From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
It's the old John Bobbit joke brought back from the dead!! 
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 695
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From: San Antonio
Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='843396' date='Apr 10 2009, 02:58 PM
It's the old John Bobbit joke brought back from the dead!!
Super good--for a forum member. (I still think that BMW forum members have no sense of humor. (Forum members on Vette and Caddy forums are nowhere near as serious.)
Thread Starter
Contributors
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,998
Likes: 1
From: St. Louis Burbs, USA
My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Originally Posted by z06bigbird' post='843417' date='Apr 10 2009, 03:14 PM
Super good--for a forum member. (I still think that BMW forum members have no sense of humor. (Forum members on Vette and Caddy forums are nowhere near as serious.)
