Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It?s got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you?re likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it?ll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

It?s slow as shit. You don?t have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do shit. And there won?t be any sense in him getting some shitty ass fart can off of eBay ? this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It?s a 4-door, so your kid won?t try to put gay ass Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you?d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

It?s a 5-speed, so your kid can?t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot ? he?ll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won?t have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It?s got a new clutch and new tires, so you?ll know if he does burnouts. After all, I?m sure YOU?RE the one paying for tires, right? It?s got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won?t fuck it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a ?phat ass system?. It?s already had the speakers replaced too, so he won?t have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he can?t get them back on. It?s got manual windows too, so he can?t fuck up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won?t leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I?m sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you?re probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you?ll know he?s suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It?ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he?s rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You won?t regret it

 

I saw that on E90post.

 

haha yeah its a great cl add

 

LOL. Good joke but no Focus. Means u will spend $$ to fix it. Get them a Toyota Yaris or a Scion. I topped out the 105-hp xA at 112 mph. When people sit in the car, they're like, this car's got power! I tell them it's only 100 hp and they dont believe me. I have a heavy foot though.

Honestly, a manual transmission doesnt mean you can talk on the phone and text at the same time. How many of you receive my emails and SMS and they are short! Like, 3 word answers? That means I am driving!

 

jeez, E, couldn't you write a longer post?!?!

I may read it later - when I'm constipated

You may say, this joke is just too hard for me to focus on

 

Lol, before I got my blue tooth working, when people called me, I was like "hold on got to shift....k I back....hang on need to shift....ok I'm back....wait need to
shift again...." lolol

 

No way John, the Scions (for some odd reason) have some cool factor with kids, no way!!! I have seen Yaris' with 20's !!!!!! Can you believe it?!?!?! Only in LA bro.

 

LOL. I dont use my car bluetooth and ALWAYS forget to use my Jawbone. I just hold the phone with my left hand, left foot clutch, right hand shift, and right hand back in steering wheel. If I text, left knee holding steering wheel and both hands type.

The only thing cool is that it doesnt look bad and I can get 39mpg driving it with a heavy foot wheras I get 12-13mpg with the e60. Yaris with 20s??? How the hell does it fit in there?

 

LOL i'll remember this post when I'm 40