Transmission Issues
07-01-2009, 09:58 AM
#1
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Mr Johnson finnally saves enough money to buy his first BMW M3 with a manual transmission. He picks up the car with 0 miles on the clock, thanks the salesman, and is on his way. 2 days later, he comes back to the dealer and pulls up to the service department. The service man comes out, "Mr. Johnson, what can I do for you?"
Mr. Johnson replies "well I am having some issues with the transmission"
"Oh well leave it here and we will take a look at it."
2 days later the service man calls Mr. Johnson. "it seems like you have a defective transmission, we will replace it under warranty since you just bought the car. I am very sorry."
"No problem, thanks for letting me know"
Mr. Johnson picks up his car with the new transmission and drives off again.
2 days later he come back with the same problem. Again the transmission gets replaced and the service man sincerley appologizes.
2 days later it happens again, the 3rd time. When Mr. Johnson comes in again, the service manager is baffled. He pulls Mr. Johnson to the side and asks "just between us, how do you drive ths car? Do you even know how to drive stick?"
"Of course I know how to drive stick. What are you implying?"
"Well it's very unusual to get 3 defective trannies in a row Mr. Johnson. Could you explain to me how you drive this car?
"Ok, when I am driving down the road and I want to go faster I drop it down a gear."
"ok"
"when I really want to go fast I drop it down 2 or 3 gears."
"ok"
"And when I REALLY want to go fast I switch to R for "race".
Mr. Johnson replies "well I am having some issues with the transmission"
"Oh well leave it here and we will take a look at it."
2 days later the service man calls Mr. Johnson. "it seems like you have a defective transmission, we will replace it under warranty since you just bought the car. I am very sorry."
"No problem, thanks for letting me know"
Mr. Johnson picks up his car with the new transmission and drives off again.
2 days later he come back with the same problem. Again the transmission gets replaced and the service man sincerley appologizes.
2 days later it happens again, the 3rd time. When Mr. Johnson comes in again, the service manager is baffled. He pulls Mr. Johnson to the side and asks "just between us, how do you drive ths car? Do you even know how to drive stick?"
"Of course I know how to drive stick. What are you implying?"
"Well it's very unusual to get 3 defective trannies in a row Mr. Johnson. Could you explain to me how you drive this car?
"Ok, when I am driving down the road and I want to go faster I drop it down a gear."
"ok"
"when I really want to go fast I drop it down 2 or 3 gears."
"ok"
"And when I REALLY want to go fast I switch to R for "race".
07-01-2009, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by pjinca' post='929670' date='Jul 1 2009, 10:31 AM
Then it would be more like "R" for Retard
Haha right? I just read the very end of the joke... That's all I needed to see...
07-02-2009, 08:08 AM
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Originally Posted by craigm1841' post='930663' date='Jul 2 2009, 12:04 PM
i was hoping it was a joke about a transmission slam. wait. thats not funny. mine is back by the way.
07-02-2009, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by craigm1841' post='930663' date='Jul 2 2009, 12:04 PM
i was hoping it was a joke about a transmission slam. wait. thats not funny. mine is back by the way.
07-02-2009, 09:35 AM
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Is Mr. Johnson a member here?? 
07-02-2009, 01:36 PM
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My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
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