Don't fart in your wet suit!
01-11-2006, 06:50 PM
#12
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My Ride: In a place where the Mercedes density is the highest in the world (no. of MB per square kilometer) I choose a Bimmer, why? because of one thing "The Ultimate Driving Experience"
My Ride:
523i Steptronic, Silver Grey Exterior, Black Interior with Black Dakota Leather and Maple Wood Trim. Chrome Grill, Style 123 rim, Airbags everywhere, PDC, Rain sensor, Auto lights, Moveable front armrest, Advance Climate Control, Glass Sunroof, Auto dimming interior and exterior mirror with foldable functions, Extended Lights package, 6 CD changer in glove box, Power seats with memory, Power adjustable steering wheel, Power rear sunblinds.
Add ons: 123 wheels, chrome grill, K&N Hi flow filter, Eibach Pro Kit, e60.net decal and 24,000km
Past rides:
2001 Nissan Xterra SE
1999 E39 523i
1999 E46 323i
1996 Acura Integra LS
:'( 
01-17-2006, 01:03 PM
#15
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Heh.. In a simmilar vein....:
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
01-17-2006, 01:32 PM
#16
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Originally Posted by bdav' post='225602' date='Jan 17 2006, 10:03 PM
Heh.. In a simmilar vein....:
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
............ Now that's funny!
01-20-2006, 12:31 AM
#18
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