Actual statements on Insurance statements.

I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

A customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind.

On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way.

I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I am sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad- faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

 

 

 

Haha. Awesome. I like the cow one

 

Hahahahahaa

 

Real funny thing is that I have read these same things in Finnish from Finnish forum.

But they still make me laugh!

Skaffa