Had a loaner X5 that I drove from Little Rock, Arkansas to Fort Smith, Arkansas, that developed battery problems (it seemed like a starter problem at first because the wipers, lights, etc. all worked, and the battery terminals looked clean). I was on my way to five discovery depositions, and then a doctor's deposition, when the X5 wouldn't start. I was, unfortunately, also parked in a place where I couldn't find a jump. I called the dealer in Little Rock (160 miles away); explained my problem; and the service guy said: "Bummer, man. call BMW Roadside Assist."

Nice touch.

So I did. They kindly offered to send a flatbed from Rogers, Arkansas (one hour from Fort Smith) to pick up the X5 and me, and haul us both back to Little Rock. Which, as I explained to the gentleman on the phone, was a pretty damn retarded plan. I asked if they could simply send a local mechanic to my location, because the problem was probably not that serious; explained that I needed to do some legal work; and advised that going to Little Rock in a flatbed with some smelly truck driver with his butt crack hanging out of his ass wasn't an option. The flatbed was BMW's only solution. So, I ended up having to find a mechanic myself; he finally arrived; jumped the car for several minutes; and it started.

So, ladies and gentlemen, if your BMW temporarily breaks down, please make sure you're in a big city. Or carry jumper cables and a tool box in your loaner car. Or take a BMW mechanic's seminar. But, for God's sake, don't rely on BMW NA to do anything even remotely helpful.

 

At least in the past, Roadside Assistance contracted with Cross Country Automotive Services to perform emergency services. I don't know if they still do today but I always maintained a AAA membership in addition to whatever comes free with the cars I drive.

Usually, if I have a situation where I need help, I call AAA first. They're more likely to have affiliates in remote areas, etc.

Other than contracting with Cross Country (which is who many roadside assistance plans from other manufacturers contract with), I wouldn't blame BMW NA for your troubles...

 

But they really ought to do better, Rudy, when their customers are buying hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cars, year after year after year. I mean, yeah, it comes "free" with the car. But does that mean that it automatically has to suck, and you have to take what you can get? If it doesn't work, don't offer it, and don't "pretend" to be helpful to luxury car buyers.

And, I don't want to buy several "secondary" roadside assistance plans for my BMW loaner car. That's my primary point.

 

Once the X5 started, I should have run that sumbitch into the Arkansas River and told the service guy that I lost it.

 

I must agree. This is no doubt the same group that will help me out if I ever push the SOS button. It sounds like a reason not to renew when the first free year arrives.

 

First, I do agree with what you're saying and I agree that it could and should be better but these days, Roadside Assistance offerings are pretty much standard across all manufacturers and to me, they add no value. It's all about being able to say "we have a roadside assistance program too" to remain competitive. M-B has one where they'll send a trained technician out to hopefully fix the car on the spot but how many times to you think that actually works? The way these cars are so reliant on computer diagnostic equipment, etc., there's no way that the mechanic can fix anything more than a dead battery or a flat tire -- the same stuff the AAA guy can fix. How long would it have taken for a trained BMW technician to get to you if they dispatched one? Probably a long time.

For me, the best solution to this mess is to simply not break down in the first place or get a AAA membership. With the AAA membership, you're covered no matter what car you're in, whether it be a loaner, a rental, your wife's, etc. Since AAA is pretty much the biggest service of it's kind, you're more likely to have a truck/mechanic near you when you call.

Another nice thing about AAA is that they understand the need for a flat-bed when dealing with BMW's and other high-end cars. Many years ago, you used to have to fight with them to get a flat-bed. Now, they "get it" and usually recommend a flat-bed right away...

 

I concur for the most part, Rudy. (Evenflow takes another sip of bourbon at 8:30 a.m.; it is Saturday, after all.)

Maybe my last optimistic thought about the future of the world was contained in that little SOS button that I never had to punch.

UNTIL LAST WEEK, WHEN IT SHAMEFULLY LET ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Evenflow pops Valium.)

Whew. That's better Or, maybe Jack in BMW service could have been more helpful. It was his car, after all.