Jimbo

One method for removing bird droppings and eliminate any resulting scratches:

For bird stuff that is already been on your ride for a day or two or three, and you don't have time to wash the entire car, fill a spray bottle with hot water and mist the crap for about a minute. Come back in 5 minutes and try wiping it with a damp soft cloth. Most of the stuff should come up easily. If not , mist it again and wait another 5 minutes to wipe it. Keep gentley rubbing it and spraying it. Almost all will come off this way.

If you don't have hot water available, mist the stuff with cold water for 2-3 minutes. Come back in 5 and try wiping it up. Repeat if necessary.

If you put a couple of drops of car soap in the spray bottle, it should work even better.

What I do before I wash my ride is to walk around the care misting all the spots several times and waiting for 5 minutes before rinsing the whole car. You'll be amazed how much stuff comes off without rubbing. The rest should come off when you wash the car.

For anytime removal, carry a spray bottle filled with distilled water and 2 drops car soap and a couple of small microfiber towels in the trunk for those paint cleaning emergencies; especially useful when you pull into a gas station or have to park under a tree.

Update: When the above doesn't work
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I worked on my friend's metallic silver car today that was covered with 1000's of small yellow spots that were deposited by some birds when he parked under a tree for an extended period of time.

They weren't gooey or rubbery so I knew they weren't sap.

First we washed the car with car soap and hot water to get as much off as we were able.

For the spots (hundreds) that didn't come off.
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We then used Turtle Wax rubbing compound (rust colored) very gentley and carefully, both by hand and (mainly for the hood, trunk and top) with my Black and Decker (purchased at Sears for under $100) random orbiting buffer with a terry cloth pad. This buffer works well for the weekend detailer who might used 3-4 times a years. I've had it for at least 10 years and it still works great for my purposes. This stuff needs to be removed before it dries. I've also used the No7 brand white polishing compound, it's much gentler than the Turtle Wax rubbing compound and probably a better product to start with because it is much less agressive.

We then hand rubbed the entire car with a wet terry cloth towel and Gel-gloss(works best for light colored cars) to remove the remaining spots. Gel-gloss is a very gentle liquid clay bar substitute. It also lays down thin but very smooth and shiny finish. It also can remove light scratches. It's not advertised as an auto product but it's done very well for me over the past 15 years. Since it leaves a bit of a finish, I use it between detailing to remove just about everything that sticks on or scratches my car. I get it at Home Depot.

Gel-gloss will set you back about $5 a can. It also comes in a spray that bubbles, reducing the possibility of scratching the paint while you clean it. I've also seen it for sale by the gallon. You can also use it to polish your windows to a silky finish that sheets water and reduces wiper friction.

The car come out great and my buddy was pleased.

We then used a wax product called "Solar Polish" that can be applied in full sun up to 95f. This product gives a better than new car shine, leaves the paint smooth as silk and is easy to apply.

I know most of the forum members use other products and that Turtle Wax has a poor reputation so I like to post success stories for cheap products that produce excellent results and can save lots of $$.

sg530

I was very dissapointed with the paint when after 4 hours, bird poop had etched the paint to the point that it can be seen even after waxing. This was my second pooping since the first one, on the hood of all places, was on for one day. I cleaned it off thinking nothing of it and found a large etched area where the poop was. I had parked for 11 years with a silver LHS in the same spot and the paint never got etched even after a week of poop. I blamed the poor paint protection on the dealer not having waxed the car for delivery. I don't know if this is the case. I put Rejex on it, and except for the two dull spots, the paint is flawless now. I did not expect this sensitivity to the poop on what should be a very environmentaly tolerant paint.

Jimbo

Sorry to hear about your experience. I've parked my car outside with and without a cover. No etching from bird droppings. Seems you should speak with the dealer and have them detail your car.

I use my spray bottle and towels I keep in the trunk on a daily basis to remove any gunk that happened to fall on my ride within the last couple of hours.

So if you see some guy in a parking lot polishing his 530, that be me!

Iceman

I have to park under trees, because there is no spot out here in fornt of my home, where there are no trees.
I am too VERY disappointed with the paint quality, even though my dealer was able to get everything out. But now I am putting the car cover on my car most of the times...
To give an impression...
One day I noticed the bird dropping on my car maybe a couple minutes after it haoppened, it was still fresh... When I removed it you were still able to see where it was... And that's waaaaaay too early, shouldn't be like that.
I filed a complaint with BMW and they measured the paint on my car, and it is even thicker than it should be... So, now I am putting the damn cover over my beauty...

kigerka

I guess I have been lucky. I haven't had any problems after a little attack. I guess the birds heere have a healthier diet.

Also, luck ran my way Friday, I can now park in a garage

Iceman

I'm on a waitlist for a garage for a couple years now...
Garages are very rare in Frankfurt.

kigerka

Was waiting since Oct 02.

Jimbo

I use a Noah cover. It's fairly lightweight, soft material, easy to put on/remove.

Iceman

I use the BMW 5series cover.
Once you know how it works, you can put it on in about two minutes and remove it in 5 minutes.

sg530

My poop experience occured on week one. I related it here because others need to be aware the paint is not like that from other manufacturers. No need to run to dealer for this issue since it is likely every one of us are susceptable and I am certain they can do nothing. It may be just the clear coat that's weak, but only time will tell.
Is the paint formulation new for the 5 series or do other bimmers have this problem?