v_therussian

You know the adage, but is it true?

I'm never the one to put niceness above subject matter and I find that more often than not, in order toget things accomplished, one needs to push and be mean. What are other people's experiences - does it really pay to be nice?

pigapumbu

I found that when I led the team by being nice AND setting a good example, I could get my subordinates to work better, harder and more loyal. Sadly there are many who think being mean is the way forward. That only sets a bad working environment.

Thats my 2cent worth.

cheers

v_therussian

Actually, I was not refering to subordinates, but you reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask someone: if a person who works for me more than a year and a half often forgets some very basic procedures, never asks and as a result of that, fvcks sh!t up A LOT, should I bother trying to make him a better worker still or should I just accept that he doesn't care enough to learn or that he's "not all there" and get someone else (I'm thinking a trained chimp will be better at this point), who can actually get the job done? I've been trying to not fire the guy, since the economy is so bad and he prolly wouldn't find a job for a while, but how long can I carry him if he doesn't even bother enough to write things down for himself - since he can't remember apparently...

(obviously, I'm not the niceset guy out there )

sdg1871

Vlad, you should sit the subordinate down and give him or her a frank assessment of the problem and its seriousness. It should also be documented in written performance evaluations. If he or she does not improve after you have done that, you should fire them. A job is not a social program. And in this economy, if an employee is not performing, there are 50 people who would gladly take the job -- many of which are likely to be better.

As someone who supervises teams of subordnates on my cases, I am always nice. I ask politely. I am very demanding in terms of hours and performance but I always recognize good work and tell the person how good I though their work was.
Nine times out of ten, you motivate people more by being a mentor and friend. There is, of course, the occassional slacker who won't work unless kicked in the ass. Those folks, I don't work with once I see that trait.

v_therussian

Thanks, for the advice, Scott. I'll definitely sit him down and have a talk with him if he ever messes up. So far, last time he messed up I let him know very clearly that he's on "thin ice" and I'm watching his performance closely. Since then he's been ok - not spectacular and definitely worse than I was after having worked for that amount of time, but adequate.

BTW I'd love to hear more of what you have to say on my original question: do nice guys really finish last?

wolf

+1!

Performance expectations need to be communicated and shared. When performance isn't meeting expectations it should be communicated and if necessary a "structured improvement plan" should be put in-place. (This is a formal plan which documents the issues, explains the goals and also consequences if improvement is not achieved.)

I have seen many cases where managers don't take actions to address non performing staff and the resulting failures actually end up hurting the managers in addition to the non performing staff. I recall seeing someone who was trying to give break after break to a staff member who was slacking and taking advantage of the manager. The end result was the program missed major schedules and the manager and staff member both ended up being removed......

When people aren't performing it ultimately is something that most stakeholders can see. Failure to take action damages team morale, impacts performance and quality and negatively reflects on the team leadership.

You aren't being "mean" if you are telling someone they aren't performing or end up removing them. It is a hard thing to do and may feel like you are being mean but in the end, if you are professional and respectful, you are just doing your job.

craigm1841

as far as individuals go, nice is a long term investment. i think mean pays off right away, nice pays off in the long run.

i have a lot of integrity, and i have a coworker who has been cutting out of work quite early. 2 hours yesterday, not coming in today (because our boss is out, even so, this is a weekly occurrence, hour here, hour there) but he will log the hours, at a rate of approximately 50 bucks an hour... thats your tax money folks. anyway, it pays off now for him because he gets free money. but he will get caught.

sdg1871

I think it depends. I found that I did much better at my firms when I stayed out of office politics, kept my head down and did not speak ill of others at the firm -- especially superiors -- and instead concentrated 100 percent of my efforts at churning out good work product.. I defintely made some mistakes at my prior firm in terms of questioning, too many times, decisions by partners that I knew were wrong.

Success outside the firm is a totally different animal. What I do is inherently ridden with conflict and if you are not tough with your adversaries in cases, they will sense weakness and steamroll you. It always pays to be courteous but that's it.

And you cannot be nice to a witness who is lying or whose testimony you need and who is not voluntarily giving it to you. Sometimes, it takes browbeating, harassing or humiliating (if being nice does not work). When you are examining a witness whose testimony you need, you cannot have pity, sympathy or empathy for that witness. That's not nice but you cannot be effective unless you are willing to be tough when needed..

Alpine White Girl

agree. theres a right way to do things and a wrong way. no one stays motivated to work for some asshole collecting all the dough while you slave and do the hard work for him to sit back and collect. I know you have to work your way up in life (for the most part) but having a nicer boss is always more fun to goto work and do well.

rrnag30

+1 for Nice

numerous case studies will show that being confrontational in a negative manner is counterproductive to the end goal. This is for work environments, of course....in personal life being nice will allow people to take advantage of you. Happens to me all the time?then I lose my temper (being a Scorpio it does not take much) and people wonder how they got smacked by a Mack truck.