This is for you Andy545
Thread Starter
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 18,253
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From: FL
My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
QANTAS: Problems And Solutions
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correc-tion. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that the ground crews and engineers lack sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Pilot's Report / Mechanic's Solution
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. / Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Test flight OK, expect autoland very rough. / Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Something loose in the cockpit. / Something tightened in cockpit.
Dead bugs on windshield. / Live bugs on back-order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. / Evidence removed.
DME volume unbelievably loud. / DME volume set to more believable level.
IFF inoperative. / IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Suspected crack in windshield. / Suspect you're right.
Number 3 engine missing. / Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Aircraft handles funny. / Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Target radar hums. / Reprogrammed target radar with words.
Mouse in the cockpit. / Cat installed.
Noise behind left panels. Sounds like a little man with hammer. / Took hammer from little man.
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correc-tion. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that the ground crews and engineers lack sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Pilot's Report / Mechanic's Solution
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. / Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Test flight OK, expect autoland very rough. / Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Something loose in the cockpit. / Something tightened in cockpit.
Dead bugs on windshield. / Live bugs on back-order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. / Evidence removed.
DME volume unbelievably loud. / DME volume set to more believable level.
IFF inoperative. / IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Suspected crack in windshield. / Suspect you're right.
Number 3 engine missing. / Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Aircraft handles funny. / Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Target radar hums. / Reprogrammed target radar with words.
Mouse in the cockpit. / Cat installed.
Noise behind left panels. Sounds like a little man with hammer. / Took hammer from little man.
Contributors
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,087
Likes: 0
From: Davidson, North Carolina
My Ride: On Order as of May 6- 2007 530i Titanium Grey and Grey Leather, with Sport Package, Premium Pkg, Cold Pkg.
2006 Porsche Boxster
Originally Posted by Iceman' post='488039' date='Oct 30 2007, 06:54 PM
QANTAS: Problems And Solutions
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correc-tion. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that the ground crews and engineers lack sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Pilot's Report / Mechanic's Solution
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. / Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Test flight OK, expect autoland very rough. / Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Something loose in the cockpit. / Something tightened in cockpit.
Dead bugs on windshield. / Live bugs on back-order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. / Evidence removed.
DME volume unbelievably loud. / DME volume set to more believable level.
IFF inoperative. / IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Suspected crack in windshield. / Suspect you're right.
Number 3 engine missing. / Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Aircraft handles funny. / Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Target radar hums. / Reprogrammed target radar with words.
Mouse in the cockpit. / Cat installed.
Noise behind left panels. Sounds like a little man with hammer. / Took hammer from little man.
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correc-tion. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes, and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing what remedial action was taken.
Never let it be said that the ground crews and engineers lack sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as submitted by QANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
Pilot's Report / Mechanic's Solution
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. / Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Test flight OK, expect autoland very rough. / Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Something loose in the cockpit. / Something tightened in cockpit.
Dead bugs on windshield. / Live bugs on back-order.
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. / Evidence removed.
DME volume unbelievably loud. / DME volume set to more believable level.
IFF inoperative. / IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Suspected crack in windshield. / Suspect you're right.
Number 3 engine missing. / Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Aircraft handles funny. / Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
Target radar hums. / Reprogrammed target radar with words.
Mouse in the cockpit. / Cat installed.
Noise behind left panels. Sounds like a little man with hammer. / Took hammer from little man.
Thread Starter
Super Moderator
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 18,253
Likes: 0
From: FL
My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
Originally Posted by Iceman' post='488039' date='Oct 30 2007, 11:54 PM
...
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
...
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 fpm descent. / Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
...
Contributors
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,290
Likes: 0
From: Runcorn, NW-UK
Originally Posted by Iceman' post='488373' date='Oct 31 2007, 03:37 PM
I bet the mechanic now works for BMW... This sounds soooooooooo familiar... "we can not reproduce the problem..."
"My car is broken"
"Here you go, it's fixed now"
"My car is broken AGAIN, SAME PROBLEM"
"Here you go, it's fixed now"
"My car is broken AGAIN ... Fix the f*cking problem not the symptoms!!"
(I am of course referring to my F*CKING SQUEAKY F*CKING BRAKES)
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