Wonderful English from Around the World
05-14-2009 | 08:02 AM
#1
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,998
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From: St. Louis Burbs, USA
My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Especially those of you who travel internationally will appreciate this. God bless them for trying!
Wonderful English from Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. !!!!!!!!!!
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Wonderful English from Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. !!!!!!!!!!
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
05-14-2009 | 08:05 AM
#2
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 733
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From: Milton Keynes, United Kingdom
My Ride: 535d M-Sport '06 Plate - Carbon Black - Black Leather - Pro Sat Nav - Logic 7 - HUD - Bluetooth - Privacy Glass - 172M 19" Alloys - Heated Seats - PDC - Adaptive Headlights - Extended Voice Control - Paintshield Extended - M5 Boot Finisher - Bright White LED Internal Lighting - Dension Gateway 500 Ipod/USB/Aux Integration
05-14-2009 | 08:23 AM
#3
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,398
Likes: 0
From: Turku, Finland
My Ride: 2005 BMW 530d M-Sport TouringExterior: Titansilber Metallic, M5 mirrors, ACS rear roof spoiler, BMW Carbon Fiber rear diffuser, Adaptive Xenon headlights, AngeliBright v.3 Angel Eyes, F1 Autohaus Euphoria 6000K LED license plate lightsInterior: Black
Originally Posted by CWS530' post='878312' date='May 14 2009, 07:02 PM
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
LMAO!
05-14-2009 | 08:36 AM
#4
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,596
Likes: 0
From: New Jersey
My Ride: '05 545 Titanium Silver, Black Leather - Nav, Logic 7, Cold weather.
Mods:
Carbon filter removed.
M5 iDrive knob.
Umnitza license plate LEDs.
MP3
40% 3M tint
ACS Anti-Roll(sway) bars
RPI Scoop
G-tech Pro RR
CF Roundels
CF Wheel caps
Originally Posted by MarcsOnFire' post='878314' date='May 14 2009, 12:05 PM
Even in the native language you have to think for a moment.
It says "Bathroom"
05-14-2009 | 08:45 AM
#5
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,084
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From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
It looks more like farting is prohibited!!
05-14-2009 | 08:47 AM
#6
Contributors
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,596
Likes: 0
From: New Jersey
My Ride: '05 545 Titanium Silver, Black Leather - Nav, Logic 7, Cold weather.
Mods:
Carbon filter removed.
M5 iDrive knob.
Umnitza license plate LEDs.
MP3
40% 3M tint
ACS Anti-Roll(sway) bars
RPI Scoop
G-tech Pro RR
CF Roundels
CF Wheel caps
Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='878362' date='May 14 2009, 12:45 PM
It looks more like farting is prohibited!!
05-14-2009 | 08:59 AM
#7
Contributors
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,084
Likes: 0
From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
Originally Posted by Brit_in_NJ' post='878365' date='May 14 2009, 09:47 AM
If you can't fart in a bathroom...what is the world coming to!
Excellent point there!! 
05-14-2009 | 09:47 AM
#9
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,561
Likes: 0
From: Milky Way, Earth, N. America, CA, San Jose, 95136, Latitude N 37� 16.837, Longitude W 121� 50.461
My Ride: 2004 530i | Sapphire Black | Sport | Premium | NAV | Logic 7 | DPE R07 Variant S Gloss Black with Polished Lip 20x8.5 front 20x10 rear | Falken FK452 tires 245/30/20 front 275/30/20 rear | H&R Coilovers | Smoked Tail Lights | M5 trunk spoiler | AC Schnitzer style roof spoiler | HID 8000K headlights & foglights | 35% tint all around | Sprint Booster | Speed Innovation ECU tuning | M5 trunk finisher | M-Tech body kit | Remus Quad Exhaust | AC Schnitzer style pedals | Euro Stickers | RPi Ram Air Induction | Smoked LED Side Lenses | AC Schnitzer style e-brake handle | AC Schnitzer style shifter | AC Schnitzer style iDrive knob | AC Schnitzer style carbon fiber diffuser | carbon fiber hood/trunk/steering emblems | carbon fiber grilles | carbon fiber door pillars | MTEC v2 Angel Eyes | Hamann style carbon fiber splitter
hahaha good stuff!
good stuff!
05-14-2009 | 04:28 PM
#10
Contributors
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 606
Likes: 0
From: South. Deeep South.
My Ride: 2008 535i Monaco blue/cream beige, light poplar trim, sport, nav, premium, Logic 7, 6 speed manual
My other rides:
Departed: 2006 530xi Silver gray/black, anthracite maple trim, cold, sport, nav, premium, Logic 7, 6 speed steptronic, bluetooth, adaptive xenons
Departed...2002 525i White/beige, 5 sp manual
These are fun because they're wrong on so many different levels. Like those stupid headlines and product labels on Leno... 
