Gene

What MOM taught us...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a cyclone swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parent(s) like you do!"

info@trinityautosport

i like the circle of life one best. first time i heard that line was on cosby show

BrianTx5

Very Good!! And timely.
Mom will love them.

MacSid

I remember hearing far too many of those

Lancaster

Excellent.

A couple of my favourites:

INTERROGATION

"Who do you think you are talking to?"

(Never, ever, answer that question...)



I guess this would go under RHYTHM:

"Who -smack -do -smack -you -smack -think -smack -you -smack are -smack talking -smack to?"


ANATOMY:

"Do you think I have a zip up the back of my head?"


TERROR:

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. You decide."

southgate

very nice

sixcard

Recalls fond memories of all my Moms.

Another favorite, when I didn't want to eat my peas, "Think of all those starving kids around the world."

providenceleaf

funny list...I've heard some of those back in the day

Gene

Bump for mother's day...

Gene

Bump for this years upcoming Mother's Day (I don't think this falls under the Bump rule as this isn't a FS thread )