Lounge How was your day? Anything goes but please keep it PG-13!

Three Roses

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 11-04-2008, 09:26 AM
  #1  
Senior Members
Thread Starter
 
IrishEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin, Eire
Posts: 2,279
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Default

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size
because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be
kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her
on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.

'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was
from him: 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she
had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for His new ears.'
Old 11-04-2008, 09:29 AM
  #2  
Members
 
jk041505's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 219
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: 04' BMW 525i, 15% tint all-round, H&R Race Springs, 20" Iforged Imola, M-tech Kit, Angelibright V3, Hamann Style front splitter
Default

Old 11-04-2008, 09:31 AM
  #3  
Contributors
 
AKAlius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Houston,TX
Posts: 3,573
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: Original E60 Spec: 530i - Silver Grey Out, Black Dakota Leather In, Navigation Pro, Voice Command, HiFi Audio, Sports Package, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package w/ Heated Seats, Style# 123 Alloy Track Wheels, Auto AC, Power Front Seats, Active Turn Xennon Headlights, Mods: OEM M-Tech Front Bumper, OEM M Side Skirts, OEM M5 Rear Bumper, M5 Trunk Lid Finisher, M5 Style Mirrors, Custom Hamann Style Splitter, Custom Hartge Style Diffuser, RD Sport Boot Spoiler, LCI Taillights, Bruce Miranda's V4 LCI Retro Cables, 6000K Xenon light Bulbs, Xenon White LED License Plate Lights, 8000K HID 9006 Fog Lights, Akalius� Front Headlight Euro Overlays, Matte Black Kidney Grilles, E60.Net Clings, Debadged, Llumar Tinting "Micro Edged, 15% Rear 35% Sides, Engine Mods: Custom Magnaflow Quad Exhaust w/ Eisenmann Stamped 3� Tips, RPI Scoop (Red) Added Electronics: V1 Equipped (Hardwired), OEM Alpine CD Changer Retrofit, Shoes: SOLD-20" Staggered Vertini Hennesey Rims, Falcon 452's Tires-SOLD New Shoes: 19" VMR 710 Hyper Silver, General Exclaim UHP 245/35/19 Front-275/30/19 Rear, Gloss Silver Caliper Paint Job DIY ^_____________ Retired ______________ Took Delivery 10/26/2009: LOADED! E60 M5 Silverstone II/Black, Active Seats, Comfort Ventilated/Heated Seats, HUD, Brushed Aluminum Trim,
Default

Thanks for a good after lunch laugh!
Old 11-04-2008, 09:35 AM
  #4  
Contributors
 
flyingpuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Thousand Oaks, California
Posts: 11,084
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills. Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
Default

TFF!! Thanks Irish, I needed a good laugh like that!!
Old 11-04-2008, 09:35 AM
  #5  
Former Vendor
 
info@trinityautosport's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 19,460
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: F13 M6
Default

Old 11-04-2008, 09:54 AM
  #6  
Contributors
 
littlemouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northamptonshire UK
Posts: 1,118
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: Week 17 Build, 2008 E60 535d M Sport - Titanium Silver, Black Dakota Leather, Visibility Package, Media Package, Automatic gearbox, Steering Wheel Heating, M Double Spoke 172 19" Mixed Wheels, Auto-Dim+Exterior Mirror, Comfort seats, Front Seat Heating, Aluminium Pentan interior trim,DAB Tuner, TV Function, BMW Individual Audio System 825W !!
Default

Nice one Irish
Old 11-04-2008, 12:29 PM
  #7  
Contributors
 
CWS530's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: St. Louis Burbs, USA
Posts: 8,998
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Default

BWAHAHAHA! Where do you find this stuff? Keep it coming!
Old 11-04-2008, 12:31 PM
  #8  
Contributors
 
Eugene134's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New York CIty
Posts: 2,516
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
My Ride: F10 535I
Model Year: 2016
Default

Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='712018' date='Nov 4 2008, 01:26 PM
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size
because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be
kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her
on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.

'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was
from him: 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she
had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for His new ears.'

LMAO
Old 11-04-2008, 12:35 PM
  #9  
Contributors
 
C5driver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,042
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

That was hilarious!
Old 11-04-2008, 12:40 PM
  #10  
Super Moderator
 
Iceman's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 18,253
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
Default



Quick Reply: Three Roses



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:01 PM.