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REDNECK Elevator...

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Old 09-01-2006, 01:25 PM
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A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma.... "
Old 09-01-2006, 01:29 PM
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I need to get one of those.
Old 09-01-2006, 01:29 PM
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Hey IrishEyes,

funny, but do I need to say it?


Re.........
Old 09-01-2006, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Iceman' post='329765' date='Sep 1 2006, 10:29 PM
Hey IrishEyes,

funny, but do I need to say it?
Re.........

F*&K. I'm not posting anymore.
Old 09-01-2006, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='329767' date='Sep 1 2006, 11:31 PM
F*&K. I'm not posting anymore.


Old 09-01-2006, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='329767' date='Sep 1 2006, 11:31 PM
F*&K. I'm not posting anymore.
Hey no probs there you always post the best jokes our admin is on duty and never tired, thx GOD and admin

ps. may be your foglights were on
Old 09-01-2006, 01:51 PM
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I have no problem with reposts. Hell, the first post was from April 2005. Those jokes are allways funny, but somebody needs to be the smartass...
Old 09-01-2006, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Iceman' post='329776' date='Sep 1 2006, 11:51 PM
I have no problem with reposts. Hell, the first post was from April 2005. Those jokes are allways funny, but somebody needs to be the smartass...
richtig, and in lounge any thing can happen or Adidas...
Old 09-01-2006, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by ats77' post='329777' date='Sep 1 2006, 10:53 PM
richtig, and in lounge any thing can happen or Adidas...
Uh? Adidas? Sorry - me no comprend. :'(
Old 09-01-2006, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by ats77' post='329772' date='Sep 1 2006, 10:48 PM
... our admin is on duty and never tired, thx GOD and admin
I know. He's like a flippin robot or a machine. An ICE machine..
Can someone entice him away for a while so I can do all my re-posts together?


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