Most Helpful Wives.
12-10-2006, 02:51 AM
#1
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
A Garda officer pulls over a speeding car. The Garda says, "I clocked you at 120 kilometres per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Jesus, Guard, I had it on cruise control at 80, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the Garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the Garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The Garda frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic ?80 and penalty points." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see Guard, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the Garda is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The Garda looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Mam?"
She replied, "Only when he's been drinking!"
The driver says, "Jesus, Guard, I had it on cruise control at 80, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the Garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the Garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The Garda frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic ?80 and penalty points." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see Guard, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the Garda is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The Garda looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Mam?"
She replied, "Only when he's been drinking!"
12-10-2006, 02:59 AM
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My Ride: 530i M-sports package, carbon black,Beige leather dakota, Steptronic, active steering, anti-theft alarm, sunblinds for rear window and back seat window, interior and exterior mirror with anti-dazzel function, poplar brown dark, comfort seats, PDC, extended lights package, Hi-Fi loudspeakers, Innovation Package (contains Xenon, Headlight washers, adaptive headlights, Comfort access), automatic air-conditioning, professional radio, individual high gloss satine chrome,Sunroof
12-10-2006, 07:23 AM
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My Ride: 2005 525i : Alpine White, Steptronic, Black Interior with Amethyst Leather & Popular Grain Brown, 17" 122-Style Rims, Adaptive Bi-Xenon Headlights, Auto Dimming & Folding Mirrors, Advanced A/C, Sports Steering Wheel, Electrically Adjustable Steering Column, Extended Lighting Package, PDC, Sliding Armrest, Bus Navi, Hi-Fi Sound System (MP3 DVDs), CD Changer, Rear Sunshades..
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12-10-2006, 08:21 AM
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My Ride: 2006 525i Silver Gray/Gray Dakota Leather | Steptronic | Cold Weather | Xenon | Premium Package
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?Hamann quad exhaust + Hamann quad rear diffuser + Hamann Front Lip?
12-10-2006, 09:07 AM
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My Ride: E61 535d Apr 05. UK spec + Media Pack, Luxury Pack & Visibility Pack
Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='365627' date='Dec 10 2006, 11:51 AM
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
