The Men's Rules
05-30-2009, 08:22 AM
#1
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The Men's Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE! Pay careful attention to the ones in red
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptableanswers to almost every question..
1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can eitherask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..because we don't disturb
you while you are watching your soaps and serials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We all do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expectan answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing
or Football.
1. 1 You have enoughclothes.
1. 2 You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ! RoundIS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE! Pay careful attention to the ones in red
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptableanswers to almost every question..
1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can eitherask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..because we don't disturb
you while you are watching your soaps and serials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We all do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expectan answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing
or Football.
1. 1 You have enoughclothes.
1. 2 You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ! RoundIS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.
05-30-2009, 08:27 AM
#2
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Repost. Sorry Roy. But its still very funny and true.
http://forums.e60.net/index.php?showtopic=54254
http://forums.e60.net/index.php?showtopic=54254
05-30-2009, 08:37 AM
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Repost or not, I love those rules!
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
05-30-2009, 09:35 AM
#5
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My Ride: 2008 535i Monaco blue/cream beige, light poplar trim, sport, nav, premium, Logic 7, 6 speed manual
My other rides:
Departed: 2006 530xi Silver gray/black, anthracite maple trim, cold, sport, nav, premium, Logic 7, 6 speed steptronic, bluetooth, adaptive xenons
Departed...2002 525i White/beige, 5 sp manual
Originally Posted by sdg1871' post='894881' date='May 30 2009, 11:37 AM
Repost or not, I love those rules!
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
05-30-2009, 09:57 AM
#6
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530i - Silver Grey Out, Black Dakota Leather In, Navigation Pro, Voice Command, HiFi Audio, Sports Package, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package w/ Heated Seats, Style# 123 Alloy Track Wheels, Auto AC, Power Front Seats, Active Turn Xennon Headlights,
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Originally Posted by khooger' post='894867' date='May 30 2009, 11:22 AM
The Men's Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE! Pay careful attention to the ones in red
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptableanswers to almost every question..
1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can eitherask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..because we don't disturb
you while you are watching your soaps and serials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We all do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expectan answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing
or Football.
1. 1 You have enoughclothes.
1. 2 You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ! RoundIS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE! Pay careful attention to the ones in red
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptableanswers to almost every question..
1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can eitherask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..because we don't disturb
you while you are watching your soaps and serials.
1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We all do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expectan answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing
or Football.
1. 1 You have enoughclothes.
1. 2 You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ! RoundIS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.
05-30-2009, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by sdg1871' post='894881' date='May 30 2009, 12:37 PM
Repost or not, I love those rules!
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
Say, are you all coming to next Saturday's meet?
As I write this, Victor and I are having lunch at the Dmmick Inn in Milford, Pa, the ending point for next week's meet. We figured we try to food before subjecting the E60.net members to it.
So far, lunch is good. Milford is a very pretty town and is about 200 years old.
05-30-2009, 01:30 PM
#10
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My Ride: 2011.5 Alpine White E90 M3 | Black Novillo Leather | Carbon Fiber Leather Trim | ZCP | ZP2 | M-DCT | Navigation | Moonroof | 6FL Mods: TMS 12.5mm spacers all around l Hawk HPS Brake Pads l OEM M3 Edition Grills l Paint Matched Side Gills l Key Hole D
, stll a funny read (for the second time) 