Marriage
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From: Beijing, China
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies .
So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'
'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.
'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.'
The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different
kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany ,
Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you
know...they have frozen glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
him by saying,
'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at
the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'
You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing,
dirty words and all that...'
'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your
Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you
are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it,
Asshole?'
........and, they lived happily ever after.
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies .
So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'
'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.
'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.'
The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different
kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany ,
Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you
know...they have frozen glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
him by saying,
'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at
the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'
You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took
out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing,
dirty words and all that...'
'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your
Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you
are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it,
Asshole?'
........and, they lived happily ever after.
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From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
HOLY CRAP!! 
I think I may have dated her!! 
I think I may have dated her!!
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From: San Diego / Murrieta
My Ride: 2004 545i Custom Matt White Paint by PLATINUM VIP | Sport Pkg | Cold Weather Pkg | 6 Speed Manual | Premium Sound | Oem ///M5 Front Bumper | Oem ///M5 Rear Bumper | OEM ///M5 Side Skirts | Oem ///M5 Trunk Finisher | Oem ///M5 Fenders | 20% Tint | Vip Modular Wheels | 21x9.5 F | 21 x11 R | Magnaflow Exhaust | AAA Oval Tips | RPI Scoops | KW V2 Coilovers | Predator Ice V2 Angel Eyes | LED Side Turn Signal Markers ( Smoked ) Cross Drilled Rotors | CF Engine cover | Axxis Deluxe Break Pads | K&N Drop in
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,084
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From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
Originally Posted by DRANGED' post='819006' date='Mar 17 2009, 12:03 AM
...and I married her!
So all of you owe me a debt of gratitude as I took one for the team! 
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From: MPLS, USA
My Ride: 10 Honda Fit Sport, 10 Honda Pilot Touring
Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='819013' date='Mar 17 2009, 02:13 AM
Thanks John, but I spent some time in prison and I took one for the team!
Contributors
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,084
Likes: 0
From: Thousand Oaks, California
My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
Originally Posted by DRANGED' post='819014' date='Mar 17 2009, 12:15 AM
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Joined: Mar 2008
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From: Northamptonshire UK
My Ride: Week 17 Build, 2008 E60 535d M Sport - Titanium Silver, Black Dakota Leather, Visibility Package, Media Package, Automatic gearbox, Steering Wheel Heating, M Double Spoke 172 19" Mixed Wheels, Auto-Dim+Exterior Mirror, Comfort seats, Front Seat Heating, Aluminium Pentan interior trim,DAB Tuner, TV Function, BMW Individual Audio System 825W !!
Originally Posted by flyingpuck' post='819015' date='Mar 17 2009, 07:16 AM
Er....nice try John, but my REAL post is just above!!
