Little Davie
09-10-2006, 04:24 PM
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
**************
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"
***************
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Davie waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this.
Little Davie said, "Well...Every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
****************
The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
****************
Little Davies's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman.
"The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
***************
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
After a few seconds, Little Davie stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Davie?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
**************
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"
***************
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Davie waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this.
Little Davie said, "Well...Every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
****************
The math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
****************
Little Davies's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman.
"The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Davie asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
***************
Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
09-10-2006, 04:45 PM
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My Ride: 2007 Titanium Gray 550i, with sport, nav, HUD, Logic7, sat radio, cold weather, rear side airbags, rear seat heaters, and it goes like a bat outta hell!
Heeeee's back 
Nice to see a post by you!! And...a funny one, no less!!
Nice to see a post by you!! And...a funny one, no less!!
09-11-2006, 03:20 AM
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Back with a bang.
Must have a new job or something. With Internet access.
09-11-2006, 04:15 AM
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My Ride: 2005 525i : Alpine White, Steptronic, Black Interior with Amethyst Leather & Popular Grain Brown, 17" 122-Style Rims, Adaptive Bi-Xenon Headlights, Auto Dimming & Folding Mirrors, Advanced A/C, Sports Steering Wheel, Electrically Adjustable Steering Column, Extended Lighting Package, PDC, Sliding Armrest, Bus Navi, Hi-Fi Sound System (MP3 DVDs), CD Changer, Rear Sunshades..
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09-14-2006, 02:09 AM
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Originally Posted by IrishEyes' post='333157' date='Sep 11 2006, 01:20 AM
Back with a bang.
Must have a new job or something. With Internet access.
.
09-14-2006, 10:24 AM
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My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
Originally Posted by alohalc' post='334332' date='Sep 14 2006, 12:09 PM
no, not a new job but trying to sneak to here once in awhile .
.
