Jewish and Chinese Pilots
10-17-2008, 08:39 PM
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A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish
captain.His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown
together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a
mutual dislike.Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain
activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't
like Chinese.''No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, '....why not?''You
people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !''No, no,' the co-pilot
protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not
Chinese.''Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all
alike!'There's a few minutes of silence.'I no rike Jews either!' the
copilot suddenly announces.'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.'Jews
sink Titanic.''What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!'
exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!''Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg,
Rosenberg ...no mattah... all same.'
captain.His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown
together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a
mutual dislike.Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain
activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't
like Chinese.''No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, '....why not?''You
people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why !''No, no,' the co-pilot
protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not
Chinese.''Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all
alike!'There's a few minutes of silence.'I no rike Jews either!' the
copilot suddenly announces.'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.'Jews
sink Titanic.''What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!'
exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!''Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg,
Rosenberg ...no mattah... all same.'
10-17-2008, 08:42 PM
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The funny part about this joke is that it sounds like me and my wife. I'm half Chinese and she's a Jew. Hahahaha! And we have similar fights. She tells me my people screwed up her dry cleaning and I ask her why a deli by her house, run by her people, can't serve me a damn ham sandwich when I'm starving! LOL!
The funny part about this joke is that it sounds like me and my wife. I'm half Chinese and she's a Jew. Hahahaha! And we have similar fights. She tells me my people screwed up her dry cleaning and I ask her why a deli by her house, run by her people, can't serve me a damn ham sandwich when I'm starving! LOL!
10-17-2008, 08:51 PM
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waaahhh!!!!! funny
hehehehe 
10-18-2008, 05:30 AM
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The following is a TRUE STORY - something I witnessed and heard first-hand...
Several years ago I worked in a small pro svcs group. Many of the guys were Asian-American, and we had quite a number of guys who were of Jewish faith (not Asian). We were having lunch at a Chinese restaurant, and the topic of religion came up. Eventually, someone asked one of the Chinese-American guys, "do you (does China) have any Chinese Jews?".
At that exact moment, the waiter was darting around the table clearing dishes and had overheard only the question.
He answered, "No, no... we have apple juice, orange juice, tomato juice.... no Chinese juice."
After we had wiped the tears from our eyes and caught our breath, we openly wondered:
a) is there actually such a thing as Chinese juice???
and
b) if it exists, what -is- Chinese juice???
Several years ago I worked in a small pro svcs group. Many of the guys were Asian-American, and we had quite a number of guys who were of Jewish faith (not Asian). We were having lunch at a Chinese restaurant, and the topic of religion came up. Eventually, someone asked one of the Chinese-American guys, "do you (does China) have any Chinese Jews?".
At that exact moment, the waiter was darting around the table clearing dishes and had overheard only the question.
He answered, "No, no... we have apple juice, orange juice, tomato juice.... no Chinese juice."
After we had wiped the tears from our eyes and caught our breath, we openly wondered:
a) is there actually such a thing as Chinese juice???
and
b) if it exists, what -is- Chinese juice???
10-18-2008, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by UUronL' post='696318' date='Oct 18 2008, 09:30 AM
The following is a TRUE STORY - something I witnessed and heard first-hand...
Several years ago I worked in a small pro svcs group. Many of the guys were Asian-American, and we had quite a number of guys who were of Jewish faith (not Asian). We were having lunch at a Chinese restaurant, and the topic of religion came up. Eventually, someone asked one of the Chinese-American guys, "do you (does China) have any Chinese Jews?".
At that exact moment, the waiter was darting around the table clearing dishes and had overheard only the question.
He answered, "No, no... we have apple juice, orange juice, tomato juice.... no Chinese juice."
After we had wiped the tears from our eyes and caught our breath, we openly wondered:
a) is there actually such a thing as Chinese juice???
and
b) if it exists, what -is- Chinese juice???
Several years ago I worked in a small pro svcs group. Many of the guys were Asian-American, and we had quite a number of guys who were of Jewish faith (not Asian). We were having lunch at a Chinese restaurant, and the topic of religion came up. Eventually, someone asked one of the Chinese-American guys, "do you (does China) have any Chinese Jews?".
At that exact moment, the waiter was darting around the table clearing dishes and had overheard only the question.
He answered, "No, no... we have apple juice, orange juice, tomato juice.... no Chinese juice."
After we had wiped the tears from our eyes and caught our breath, we openly wondered:
a) is there actually such a thing as Chinese juice???
and
b) if it exists, what -is- Chinese juice???
lol and i can show you chinese "juice"
lmao jk!
10-18-2008, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by nyceric03' post='696379' date='Oct 18 2008, 11:06 AM
lol and i can show you chinese "juice" lmao jk!
lmao jk!
10-18-2008, 08:11 AM
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ha ha ha !! good one !!