alohalc

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat.

Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac
Convention in Chicago"

He swallowed hard.

Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, one popular myth is that Black American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent.

We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern red neck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."

kigerka

Good one

garehaan

Late at night this guy runs into a pub and gets a glass of water from the bartender. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass. Six glasses later, and he has recovered enough to speak.

"Thanks," he croaks.

"That's one hell of a thirst you've got," says the bartender.

The guy says, "Any man would be as bad if they'd just had sex with the woman in my car. She's insatiable. She wants me to go right back out there and do it all again, but I can't."

"Where's your car?" the bartender asks.

"At the roadside," the guy gasps.

"Tell you what," says the bartender, "you watch the bar for me while I go out and take your place."

"Be my guest, the broad's a nympo. She'll do anybody."

So the bartender goes outside and gets in the car. It's totally dark, so the woman doesn't realize she's with a different man. They get right down to it, humping away. Five minutes later there's a knock on the window. It's a cop and he shines his flashlight on the naked couple.

"What's going on here?" he asks.

"It's all right, officer," explains the bartender. "She's my wife."

"Oh, sorry sir, I didn't realize..."

"Neither did I till you switched on that damned light."

garehaan

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrist's office.

"What seems to be the problem?"

the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered.

"I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."


"I see," he said.

"I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied.

"How much for all night?"

kigerka

Good ones.

IrishEyes

cobradav

Iceman

alohalc