Don't fart in your wet suit!
#12
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#15
Heh.. In a simmilar vein....:
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
#16
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Originally Posted by bdav' post='225602' date='Jan 17 2006, 10:03 PM
Heh.. In a simmilar vein....:
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
>Bad Day at Work
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! The next time you
>have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
>on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
>so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
>first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
>my o ffice lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
>It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
>do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater.
>This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
>heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
>
>Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
>working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
>This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
>Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
>started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
>worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
>out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
>it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
>as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
>actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
>the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
>Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
>laughte r running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your butt. Now repeat to
>yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
>
#18
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