D-I-V-O-R-C-E
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,279
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From: Dublin, Eire
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
- All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I always up before her in the morning.
Why do you want this divorce?
- She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
- I got proof.
What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
- All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I always up before her in the morning.
Why do you want this divorce?
- She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
- I got proof.
What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"
.
Contributors
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,618
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From: FLA - East Coast, USA
My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,626
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From: So. Cal 626
My Ride: 2007 550i White/Black, SMG, Sports Pkg, Comfort Access, Nav, HUD, Satellite Radio, Anthracite Maple Trim
2006 X5 3.0, Black/Black, Sports Pkg, Premium Pkg, Xenon Adaptive Headlight, NAV, Rear Climate Pkg, Anthracite Trim
HAHAH.. Good one 
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,114
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From: Houston, Texas
My Ride: 2005 BMW 545i, Silver Grey, Sport Package, R. Shades, Cold Pkg, Sat. Rad., Prem. Sound.
Originally Posted by amigo525' post='271439' date='Apr 19 2006, 06:22 PM
okay..got it give it to you..it was GREATTT! 
Contributors
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,585
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From: Hong Kong
My Ride: In a place where the Mercedes density is the highest in the world (no. of MB per square kilometer) I choose a Bimmer, why? because of one thing "The Ultimate Driving Experience"
My Ride:
523i Steptronic, Silver Grey Exterior, Black Interior with Black Dakota Leather and Maple Wood Trim. Chrome Grill, Style 123 rim, Airbags everywhere, PDC, Rain sensor, Auto lights, Moveable front armrest, Advance Climate Control, Glass Sunroof, Auto dimming interior and exterior mirror with foldable functions, Extended Lights package, 6 CD changer in glove box, Power seats with memory, Power adjustable steering wheel, Power rear sunblinds.
Add ons: 123 wheels, chrome grill, K&N Hi flow filter, Eibach Pro Kit, e60.net decal and 24,000km
Past rides:
2001 Nissan Xterra SE
1999 E39 523i
1999 E46 323i
1996 Acura Integra LS