This is cracking!
02-16-2005, 11:20 AM
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My Ride: 525i Sport. Mystic Blue. Logic 7, 6 CD Changer, Floormats. Just call me the last of the big spenders!!
An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the
agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his
favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his
remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against
the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even
greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled
downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame,
gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already
in heaven, for here, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen
table were dozens of his favourite cheese scones.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his
devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this
world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw
himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled
posture. His parched lips parted, he could almost taste the cheese
scone before it was in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone
at the edge of the table, when his hand was suddenly smacked with a
spatula by his wife. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"F*ck off !! " she said, "They're for the funeral!!"
agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his
favourite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his
remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against
the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even
greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled
downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame,
gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already
in heaven, for here, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen
table were dozens of his favourite cheese scones.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his
devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this
world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw
himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled
posture. His parched lips parted, he could almost taste the cheese
scone before it was in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to the nearest scone
at the edge of the table, when his hand was suddenly smacked with a
spatula by his wife. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"F*ck off !! " she said, "They're for the funeral!!"
02-17-2005, 01:01 AM
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Originally Posted by nomad' date='Feb 16 2005, 09:20 PM
. . . . . . .
"F*ck off !! " she said, "They're for the funeral!!"
"F*ck off !! " she said, "They're for the funeral!!"
[snapback]90943[/snapback]
02-25-2005, 09:17 AM
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
There's an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says " I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes".
The Scotsman says " That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."
With that the Irishman says " Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a willy."
The Scotsman says " That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."
With that the Irishman says " Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a willy."
