BMW Jokes
02-24-2009 | 11:41 PM
#21
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,594
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From: Europe
Originally Posted by craigm1841' post='800829' date='Feb 25 2009, 04:53 AM
okay. I ran out of steam...
).My favourites were the woman farting, the south african car of the year and the mercedes bringing driving pleasure.
02-25-2009 | 06:56 AM
#23
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 703
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From: Ramstein AB, Germany
My Ride: 2007 525i, mystic blue metallic, black leather interior, dark poplar wood trim, premium package, navigation, iPod, park distance control, voice activation, bluetooth.
Mods: Full M-Tech Kit, ACS Rep Rear Window Spoiler, ACS Rep Rear Deck Spoiler, ACS Rep Quad Diffuser, ACS Rep Exhaust Tips, Remus Duel Exhaust, De-badge, 20% Tint Front and Rear, Umnitza Predator Ice V2, HID fog lights, Clear Side Marker Light Bulbs (yellow when on), Dark Poplar Wood Shifter, Dark Poplar Wood e-Brake Handle, Dark Poplar Wood Steering Wheel Inserts, OEM Steel Pedals, OEM M Footrest, 19 inch OEM 121s (Summer), 18 inch 124s (Winter), Shadowline Window Trim, Blacked-out Kidney Grills
Originally Posted by craigm1841' post='800818' date='Feb 25 2009, 04:31 AM
02-25-2009 | 07:20 AM
#24
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 703
Likes: 0
From: Ramstein AB, Germany
My Ride: 2007 525i, mystic blue metallic, black leather interior, dark poplar wood trim, premium package, navigation, iPod, park distance control, voice activation, bluetooth.
Mods: Full M-Tech Kit, ACS Rep Rear Window Spoiler, ACS Rep Rear Deck Spoiler, ACS Rep Quad Diffuser, ACS Rep Exhaust Tips, Remus Duel Exhaust, De-badge, 20% Tint Front and Rear, Umnitza Predator Ice V2, HID fog lights, Clear Side Marker Light Bulbs (yellow when on), Dark Poplar Wood Shifter, Dark Poplar Wood e-Brake Handle, Dark Poplar Wood Steering Wheel Inserts, OEM Steel Pedals, OEM M Footrest, 19 inch OEM 121s (Summer), 18 inch 124s (Winter), Shadowline Window Trim, Blacked-out Kidney Grills
Originally Posted by craigm1841' post='800791' date='Feb 25 2009, 04:13 AM
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
02-25-2009 | 01:09 PM
#29
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 368
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From: Orlando, FL
My Ride: 2006 550i - Metallic Mystic Blue, Sport Package, STEPTRONIC Auto Transmission, Leather Interior, Power Front Seats w/Lumbar Support, Xeonon Head Lights (Angel Eyes), Park Distance Control (PDC), 6-CD Changer, Adaptive Head Light, SIRIUS Satellite Radio, Professional Radio, Premium Sound Package 13-Speakers Logic 7, Weather Band Radio, Voice Control (for Bluetooth Telephone Operatoin), 18" Run Flats, Rain-Sensing Wipers, Front/Rear Heated Seats, Flat Tire Monitor (FTM), Moonroof, Fold Down Rear Seats, Hardwired Valentine One
I've certainly enjoyed this!
02-25-2009 | 01:16 PM
#30
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8,998
Likes: 1
From: St. Louis Burbs, USA
My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
Originally Posted by Iceman' post='801244' date='Feb 25 2009, 11:33 AM
It would be even funnier if those weren't reposts (except the fart joke, that was new). 