The BEST Divorce Letter EVER!!!!
10-12-2008, 10:20 PM
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Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I
had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and
even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to
sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me
you love me anymore, you don't want to do anything
anymore . Either you're cheating on me or you don't
love me anymore.
Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It is true that you and I have been married for seven
years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've
been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The
first thing that came to mind was, 'You look just like a
girl!', but my mother raised me not to say anything, if
you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on
because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it
was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
fifty dollars from me that morning and your new silk boxers
were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the
lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us
two tickets to Jamaica .
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason, I guess
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't
get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,
my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Change is good.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you for good.
I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I
had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and
even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to
sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me
you love me anymore, you don't want to do anything
anymore . Either you're cheating on me or you don't
love me anymore.
Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It is true that you and I have been married for seven
years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've
been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The
first thing that came to mind was, 'You look just like a
girl!', but my mother raised me not to say anything, if
you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on
because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it
was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
fifty dollars from me that morning and your new silk boxers
were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the
lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us
two tickets to Jamaica .
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason, I guess
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't
get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,
my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Change is good.
10-12-2008, 10:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Eugene134' post='691533' date='Oct 12 2008, 11:29 PM
Another repost, But I'm not going to say anything its still funny.
hehehehe
10-13-2008, 01:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Eugene134' post='691533' date='Oct 13 2008, 08:29 AM
Another repost, But I'm not going to say anything its still funny.
REPOST!
10-13-2008, 09:43 AM
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My Ride: 2008 550i Jet Black on Black Leather, SAT with Paddles, Logic 7, Comfort Seats, NAV, Sport Package, PDC, Xenons, Sirius, Trinity 12W LED Angel Eyes, RPi GT Exhaust, M rear spoiler, ACS Roof Spoiler, Tinted Tail Lights, Bimmian Carbon Fiber Pillar Trim, Bimmian Shadow 550i emblem, RPi Scoop, E60 Forum Cling, Mtec bulbs in fog lights, Mtec 2W LED for License Plate Light Bulbs, K&N Filter, Bimmian LED Smoked Side Markers, Blackout roundels, Carbon Fiber Kidney Grills.
Retired Rides - 1989 325i convertible, 1995 M3, 2002 X5, 2005 545i, 2008 X5 (Lemon)
I thought I knew where it was going, but ZING!
