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This is not happening to my E60 . . .

Old May 19, 2006 | 07:48 PM
  #1  
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The other early morning . . .


. . . I was in my bimmer with my wife as we drove into the mall parking lot. We proceded to park and enter the mall for some shopping. When we came out, a huge Ford F350 super duty parked next to my "justed washed bimmer." To my shock, this guy had opened the door and put big dents, I mean huge dents in my bimmer in multiple places. I was FURIOUS to the point of frightening my wife. This huge truck was old and bet-up and I could bearly open my door to get in because of the dents and damages . . .

. . . needless to say, I took a screw driver and punctured all the truck's tires and drove off. Minutes later, that same truck was on my tail. Surely, I'm going to outrun him . . . but for some reasons, the bimmer failed and he caught up to the point that he rear-ended me. What the hell? This couldn't be real? I stepped on the accelerate as hard as I could, but I wasn't moving faster than normal traffic. So I jumped out of my bimmer, with .40 calibar Beretta 11+1 in the barrel. Pure daylight baby. Somebody's going die.

I started peppering the Ford F350 in the windshield, hook, and driver. You can see steam coming from the hook. To my astonishment, I missed the driver. I exchanged for my secondary cartridge, but the beretta jammed. It never jammed before. I quickly got into the bimmer, and tried to get away, but it wouldn't start. Damn.

Then on the I-drive screen, the message came up that said, "Need Service." By now, I can see the truck driver (about 300 lbs and over 6 feet tall) approaching me and bimmer. He smashed by rear windows and trunk. I'm thinking . . . my wife. I looked over to the passenger and told her to run, honey, run . . .

I tried to crank the bimmer again and got NOTHING. Then, I remembered I had forgotten to step on the brake (dumb ass). The bimmer started, but the steering wheel came off!!! BAMM, my roof was giving way to the pounding of the truck driver. I'm thinking, what a flimsy POS. A person can actually collapse a bimmer roof??? In any case, I tried to shift into gear, but the bimmer moved so slow that I could see the faceless truck driver catching up on foot! I'm doomed. My bimmer failed me. My gun (beretta) failed me. At least my wife is safe.

So I hopped out of the bimmer and instead of running or trying to unjam my gun, I started pushing the bimmer. It pushed me back!! I was half on the ground with my head pressed up against the rear bumper and trunk, pushing this bimmer up hill. Fighting for my life, I was still trying to save my bimmer. At the same time, the truck driver was getting closer and closer . . . and closer . . . .

. . . . then the Satellite radio on the bimmer comes on with somebody talking about Howard Sterns. I hate that talk show. I hated the satellite radio. Then I realized, this can't be real; I was listening to the CD before . . . I must be dream because that's NPR in the morning with Bob. I decided to I pinched myself trying to wake up or else that truck drivers was going to tear me up.








. . . . needless to say, thank God it was dream. I woke up with my head pressed up against the head board.

Hope you'll enjoy the story.
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Old May 19, 2006 | 07:59 PM
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HAHA.....I was a believer until the the talk about peppering the car with the Beretta. Very interesting dream...I mean nightmare.
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Old May 19, 2006 | 08:41 PM
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HAHA...solid writing style. Loved it.
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Old May 19, 2006 | 09:23 PM
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damn! it wasnt real
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Old May 19, 2006 | 09:43 PM
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Dammit it got me too
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Old May 19, 2006 | 09:54 PM
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Interesting dream! Great story.
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Old May 20, 2006 | 05:57 AM
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Good thing we don't live in the world as depicted in the movie 'Minority Report'. Otherwise, you'll have Tom Cruise busting down your door and jumpin on your sofa right after you wake up from the dream
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Old May 20, 2006 | 06:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Leburpor' post='285242' date='May 20 2006, 06:57 AM
Good thing we don't live in the world as depicted in the movie 'Minority Report'. Otherwise, you'll have Tom Cruise busting down your door and jumpin on your sofa right after you wake up from the dream
Or worse.....Tom Cruise playing the movie version!!

Entertaining story.....but those of us that own E60s know that our cars would NEVER let us down that badly!! The part that really scared me was when Howard Sterns popped up on the Sat Radio!!
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Old May 20, 2006 | 06:10 AM
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Damn it got me too, almost tightening myself to the chair and pulse raising when reading such stuff. Unbealivable...till i reached the end of the post... . Smth didn't add up though, smth was fishy, and from that momment i started to realise it must be a joke, that he caught you up with 4 punctured tires...
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Old May 20, 2006 | 06:30 AM
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you got me too what can i say ?

great story

i hope your bimmer was allright when you went in the garage
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