Why did the chicken cross the road ?
05-24-2006, 04:41 AM
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road??
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Any chicken that crosses the road is a danger to this
country. I ask Congress to give me unlimited authority to deal with this
problem.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
bring greater services to the American people.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
BILL CLINTON: It depends on what your definition of chicken is. I did not
cross the road with THAT chicken. Could you define chicken please? I did
not have sex on that road.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build roads for the chicken to cross.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going.
I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR., I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads and be judged by the content of their characters.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken .
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, Thou shalt cross the road. "And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing."
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Any chicken that crosses the road is a danger to this
country. I ask Congress to give me unlimited authority to deal with this
problem.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
bring greater services to the American people.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
BILL CLINTON: It depends on what your definition of chicken is. I did not
cross the road with THAT chicken. Could you define chicken please? I did
not have sex on that road.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the government took from you to build roads for the chicken to cross.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going.
I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR., I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads and be judged by the content of their characters.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken .
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, Thou shalt cross the road. "And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing."
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
05-24-2006, 07:33 AM
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My Ride: Arrived 3 June 2005: 2005 545i - Orient Blue, Black interior, Sport, Steptronic, Cold Weather, NAV, Sirius, Logic7, Comfort Seats, Sunshades. What a glorious ride!
Hilarious!My buddy from Arkansas told me that the chicken crossed the road in order to show the possum and the armadillo that it really could be done.
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