kneemah

every day my girlfriend is complaining about how catty the environment is (it's 100% female in her department). she told a coworker she forgot to complete a task in a polite manner, and now that coworker is complaining to the boss about my girlfriend, trying to make her look bad. it a tough economy, it's incredible that people would be able to sleep at night after trying to ruin a person's reputation at work, just because they didn't like being told they messed up.

anyone else going through this with their significant other? i'm losing my mind having to listen to this crap every single day. if this was a good economy, i'd tell her to just quit and be on her way. but there's barely any jobs in her field of specialty. i'm also not looking to break up with her, so that's out of the picture.

v_therussian

LOL How old is she? And what industry does she work in?

You see, its very sensitive area you're touching on, I don't know how many people will feel 100% comfortable devouring their secrets on this subject that being said, I think it is always beneficial to cozy up to the owner/boss when the environment judges you on more than just results of your work. The ideal check-mate situation is to take on and complete so many tasks that the place will die out if you're not there - this is the BEST job security IMHO. If they can do without her over there, then basically there's a chance of her getting canned any minute. If she's the corner stone of the operation, it doesn't matter who complains and of what - all that BS gets swept aside when its time to count the beans.

IMHO, as a manager/boss, I don't even pay attention to situations involving "office politics". In my office they can come from above as well, so its a fine skill. But what affords me this luxury is the fact that I'm willing and able to do things that others in the company will not be able to do - not as readily or with as much skill as I would. Basically, when I go on vacation, I get calls all the time. And sick as it is, I actually love it. Not just because it tells me that I'm needed, but really because I love what I do and start missing my work on the 3rd-4th day of any vacation anyway LOL I know - I'm a sick puppy

Anyway, I hope that your gf can put all the bickering aside and just do her job better than everyone else. At the end of the day, if she's not being judged on her actual accomplishments, then that business won't be around too long anyway, so either way she needs to find another job - bad economy or not!!! Just bc its tough out there, doesn't mean you can stop eating, right?

Audi_Eatter

If she's your girlfiend, and she's having issues and work and she wants to talk about it. You my friend are going to have to put up with being her emotional tampon.
{===}~~~
It goes with the teritory.

Of course you can take her out, do things to occupy her thoughts in other ways....Lead the conversations....but when it comes down to it, She really wants you to listen to what she has to say and validate her feelings...

anymore sessions and I'll have to start charging ... but of course I'll give you the Forums discount

melimel

pardon me, but give her a good -you know what- that night and she wont talk about it for the rest of THAT evening at least..lol..

sdg1871

Ha! Not a bad idea Mel unless the work stress is putting his GF out of the mood. Not that I'd know from personal experience....

I think that there is a lesson to this -- many people get so crazy when their coworkers question their competence at work. It is no different where I work. The self-confident, secure colleague will welcome constructive criticism. The insecure (usually incompetent) colleague will bristle at even the slightest, most beniegn constructive criticism and feel threatened. And you have to know your audience before criticizing their work. When I was a Special Counsel (basically, a senior associate with a nicer title) at my firm, I never went into a colleague's office and criticized their work -- unless it was a subordinate. And even then, it was along the lines of "here's how I think you could do this even better".

It may make sense for the OP's GF to ask her colleague for a cease fire along the lines of don't mess with me and I won't mess with you.

CWS530

BWAHAHAHAHA!

DD_545i

Oh, I was hoping there'd be some kind of magical solution. I've been needing one for almost the same reason. Although the cause is different, the effect (unhappiness at work) is the same thing I get to listen to every day too. It only lasts 10 minutes usually but is uncomfortable. Trouble is she's earning easily 50% more than she'd get at any other job having been there for over 10 years and being indispensable and having got pay rises and promotions to get to this stage. It depresses her though at her colleagues stupidity. She's got a 6-month termination clause (from either side) though.

She says I earn easily enough for us both and although that's true, it's for an American company with 2-week termination in my contract. Although I'm fairly indispensable in my department, it can happen at any moment that the bean-counters and CEO can come to the conclusion that they want to terminate a business line that isn't making enough profit and that's then us both out of work in our 40s. If we can both just hang in there at this rate of earning for another 5 years we could retire anyway.

Still hoping some magical solution comes to the thread.

kneemah

hahaha yeah waiting it out would be ideal. if she could just out last some of these other people, she won't have to deal with them.

she's in HR, so it's 99% women who are 50% catty insecure people who get the smallest bit of power and want to push people around.

i use to work in a factory for toyota, that was 95% men, and when you messed up, you better believe everyone was going to tell you. but at the end of the day, it was a team effort. at her company, it just seems like everyone is looking out for themselves, and trying to position themselves by either sucking up or bad mouthing another coworker on baseless grounds.

i'm hoping she finds a new job soon so i can go back to enjoying our "relationship" after hours. instead of listening about her coworkers

sdg1871

5 and out for the two of you sounds like a darn good exit strategy to me.

kscarrol

Well, we know what works for Mel...