Washington Post Winners
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Francisco Bay area
Posts: 2,882
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: '05 545i, silver gray, black leather with anthracite maple wood, sport package, premium sound, navigation, cold weather package, electric rear sunshade, folding rear seat, satellite radio prep, PIAA 4150K fogs, red rear reflectors, hardwired Valentine One
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once agan asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
3. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6 . Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 .Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once agan asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
3. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6 . Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 .Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
#6
Contributors
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: FLA - East Coast, USA
Posts: 3,618
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
I'll put this on the countdown console this morning for STS-114
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
![Laughing](https://5series.net/forums/images/smilies/imported/laughing.gif)
#8
Members
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 67
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
![Default](https://5series.net/forums/images/icons/icon1.gif)
3. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post