Top Tips...
08-17-2006, 02:10 PM
#1
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Location: Dublin, Eire
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My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
1. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour
a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is
almost instantly removed.
2. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you
from going back to sleep.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the
chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f*****g thing
in the first place.
5. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer
to what you want to look at.
6. Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic
steroids by running a bit slower.
7. Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always
circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the
washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check
that it has gone.
8. High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
9. Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping
your chin in a bowl of iron fillings.
a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is
almost instantly removed.
2. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you
from going back to sleep.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the
chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f*****g thing
in the first place.
5. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer
to what you want to look at.
6. Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic
steroids by running a bit slower.
7. Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always
circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the
washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check
that it has gone.
8. High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
9. Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping
your chin in a bowl of iron fillings.
08-17-2006, 04:42 PM
#3
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Bahrain
Posts: 751
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My Ride: 2005 525i : Alpine White, Steptronic, Black Interior with Amethyst Leather & Popular Grain Brown, 17" 122-Style Rims, Adaptive Bi-Xenon Headlights, Auto Dimming & Folding Mirrors, Advanced A/C, Sports Steering Wheel, Electrically Adjustable Steering Column, Extended Lighting Package, PDC, Sliding Armrest, Bus Navi, Hi-Fi Sound System (MP3 DVDs), CD Changer, Rear Sunshades..
MODS:M-tech front bumper, Painted Grill, Installed Aux-In, Garage Door Opener (Overhead Compartement), ///M Steering wheel, Wood hand brake trim, Wood gear-shift lever. 35% Tint all around..
Got, ACS Roof Spoiler, but not installed..
number 6 is very funny...
im really starting to enjoy your threads IrishEyes...thanks for the laughs...
im really starting to enjoy your threads IrishEyes...thanks for the laughs...
08-18-2006, 02:10 AM
#4
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Location: The United Kingdom
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Ahh ... a fan of Viz ... nice post:
"Bird Flu could be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lem-sip or Day-Nurse to birdbaths, obviously you would have to put Night-Nurse in the bird baths for owls."
"Bird Flu could be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lem-sip or Day-Nurse to birdbaths, obviously you would have to put Night-Nurse in the bird baths for owls."
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