Things that Hallmark Cards don't say
12-09-2004, 11:16 AM
#1
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THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you
I've changed my mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
Happy Holidays!
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you
I've changed my mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
Happy Holidays!
12-09-2004, 12:45 PM
#3
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Location: Netherlands
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My Ride: [i][b][u]Since 19 august 2004[/u][/b][/i]: [color=red][b]530i[/b] High Executive[/color], Silvergray with beige interior, Popular wood, Servotronic, Sportssuspension, electric foldable and dimmed mirrors, dimmed interior mirror, pappelmaser braun wood, cupholders, styling 123 18" wheels, Logic 7, Steptronic, alarm class 3, electric sunscreen in the rear and suncreens for sidewindows, Comfort seats, heated seats, Xenon with headlightwashers, Adaptive corner lights ALC, Advanced airconditioning, lightpackage, Nav Pro, 6 cd changer, side airbags rearseats, bluetooth siemens S55, chrome kidneys, gearlever with wood, voice recognition retrofit, front windshield with green band.
Waiting for trunkopener button from Hobi :)
Very funny!! 
12-09-2004, 01:24 PM
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When we're apart,
it seems like rain,
then I remember,
you're such pain!
When I was sick,
you comforted me,
now when I see you,
I just have to pee!
Where did the time go,
when we lived in Point Loma?
Oh yeah, now I remember,
I was in a coma!
When we were together spreading Christmas cheer,
how did I know it was you with every guy near.
I knew you were sexy and full of lust,
now I just wish you would turn to dust!
it seems like rain,
then I remember,
you're such pain!
When I was sick,
you comforted me,
now when I see you,
I just have to pee!
Where did the time go,
when we lived in Point Loma?
Oh yeah, now I remember,
I was in a coma!
When we were together spreading Christmas cheer,
how did I know it was you with every guy near.
I knew you were sexy and full of lust,
now I just wish you would turn to dust!
12-10-2004, 11:21 AM
#8
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Join Date: May 2004
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Originally Posted by Flowerfred' date='Dec 10 2004, 07:59 AM
When I see you
I see the sea
When I see the sea
I get sick!
I see the sea
When I see the sea
I get sick!
[snapback]67432[/snapback]
When I see you,
I see the sea,
Now I wish you'd see the sea
so it wouldn't have to be me!
. keep it gonig 
.
