alohalc

what do you guys think if we try some of the followings

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you ?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, " What other problem can there be greater than this one ?"

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Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

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Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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Stress Reliever # 4

Wife to husband: " What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night ?"
Husband to wife: " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: " What ? At 2 am ? "
Husband to wife: " Yes, We used night clubs."

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Stress Reliever # 5

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune ?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"

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Stress Reliever # 6

Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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Stress Reliever # 7

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible ! " the roommate answered." He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

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Stress Reliever # 8

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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Stress Reliever # 9

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: " I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: " Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
her ? "
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

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Stress Reliever # 10

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

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Stress Reliever # 11

A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone."

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Stress Reliever # 12

Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?"
Wife replied: " Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!"
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Stress Reliever # 13

"Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?"
Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side."
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Stress Reliever # 14

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body ?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour."
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Stress Reliever # 15

Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted !
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised ?"
Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

Jimbo

Stress Reliever # 16

Wife: "I'm not happy in our marriage" I want us to go to marriage counseling.
Husband: "I don't want to pay $75 an hour to talk about some psychobabble."
Wife: "I'll only charge you $50 an hour and I'll definitely get "psycho" with you."
Husband: "Well, okay. As long as I can get a money back guarantee!"

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