Signs spotted in England.
05-08-2005, 01:08 PM
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In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking
flowers from any but their own graves.
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your
clothes when the light goes out.
In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be
taken.
In another office: After the tea break, staff should
empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining
board.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye
all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of
the draught. Please use side entrance.)
Outside a second hand shop: we exchange anything ?
bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife
along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand : any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving his or
her garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Bicycles left against this window will be recycled.
In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay in Your Car.
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and
does not know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet
will tell you how to get lessons.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please
knock hard on the door - the bell does not work.)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out
of order. Please use floor below.
flowers from any but their own graves.
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your
clothes when the light goes out.
In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be
taken.
In another office: After the tea break, staff should
empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining
board.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye
all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of
the draught. Please use side entrance.)
Outside a second hand shop: we exchange anything ?
bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife
along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand : any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: Anyone leaving his or
her garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Bicycles left against this window will be recycled.
In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay in Your Car.
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and
does not know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet
will tell you how to get lessons.
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please
knock hard on the door - the bell does not work.)
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out
of order. Please use floor below.
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