Salary Increase
Thread Starter
Members
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 46
Likes: 0
From: Westminster, Orange County
My Ride: 05 BMW 530i Orient Blue Metalic with Sport and Premium Package. Xenon Light. 35% tint, Red reflector, 123 type chrome rim.
The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1- I do physical labor.
2- I work at great depths.
3- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5- I work in a smelly environment.
6- I don't get paid overtime.
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8- I work in hot and humid tunnel.
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
-------
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request
for the following reasons:
1- You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3- You rarely follow the orders of the management team.
4- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often
seen visiting other locations.
5- You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective gear.
8- You will retire well before you are 65.
9- You are unable to work double shifts.
10- More often than not, you leave your designated work area before
you have completed the assigned task.
11- If the 10 reasons listed above are not enough, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious
looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
following reasons:
1- I do physical labor.
2- I work at great depths.
3- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5- I work in a smelly environment.
6- I don't get paid overtime.
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8- I work in hot and humid tunnel.
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
-------
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request
for the following reasons:
1- You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3- You rarely follow the orders of the management team.
4- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often
seen visiting other locations.
5- You do not take initiative. You need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective gear.
8- You will retire well before you are 65.
9- You are unable to work double shifts.
10- More often than not, you leave your designated work area before
you have completed the assigned task.
11- If the 10 reasons listed above are not enough, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious
looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
Contributors
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,626
Likes: 0
From: So. Cal 626
My Ride: 2007 550i White/Black, SMG, Sports Pkg, Comfort Access, Nav, HUD, Satellite Radio, Anthracite Maple Trim
2006 X5 3.0, Black/Black, Sports Pkg, Premium Pkg, Xenon Adaptive Headlight, NAV, Rear Climate Pkg, Anthracite Trim
AHHAHA 
good points, good points
Contributors
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,618
Likes: 0
From: FLA - East Coast, USA
My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
BUT I disagree on the retirement age 
