Realtor and Estate Agent Terms

jagman · 2007-01-16 16:57:52

Realtor (Estate Agents) Terms Explained SOPHISTICATED CITY LIVING - Next to a noisy bar. OLD WORLD CHARM - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning. CONTEMPORARY FEELING - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning. CLOSE TO LAKES - Impossible to park from April to October. WIDE OPEN FLOOR PLAN - Previous owner removed supporting walls. SECURITY SYSTEM - Neighbor has a dog. NEEDS TLC - Major structural damage. UPDATED KITCHEN - Sink no longer overflows. MOTIVATED SELLER - Has been on the market for 14 years. CONVENIENT - Located on freeway entrance ramp. MINT - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet. NEUTRAL DECOR - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls. MOVE IN CONDITION - Front door missing. COZY - No room larger than 9 x 6. LOWER LEVEL FAMILY ROOM - Ping Pong table over sewer opening. LIGHT OPEN SPACES - Many holes in walls and ceiling. OUTSTANDING - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb. A WEALTH OF PERIOD FEATURES - Yourself, dry rot, rising damp and an electrical circuit best operated in rubber gloves and wellies. BOX ROOM - Suitable for accommodating one or two large cardboard boxes ... folded. BY PRIVATE TREATY - If it went to auction it would never reach the reserve price. COMPACT - Tiny. COUNTRY GENTLEMAN'S RESIDENCE - No longer suitable for agricultural tenants. DECEPTIVE APPEARANCE - It looks terrible. DELIGHTFUL RURAL LOCATION - In flight path of nuclear bomber base. EASILY MAINTAINED - Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid. EXTENSIVELY MODERNIZED - Former DIY owner had a breakdown under the strain. FOR THE GARDENING ENTHUSIAST - Grounds like a jungle. LOCAL AUTHORITY GRANTS AVAILABLE - About to be condemned. MUCH SOUGHT AFTER - It's been on the market at least twice before and still no one wants it. OWNER EAGER TO SELL - If it goes within a week the subsidence cracks won't be noticed. PARTIAL CENTRAL HEATING - The room above the boiler can get warm in summer. PERIOD RESIDENCE - Built in the last two years. QUIET, SECLUDED SETTING - On site of proposed dormitory town. RARE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY - No one else want's it. SELECT NEIGHBORHOOD - Beside sewage works. SOLD - Unless idiots like you offer a higher price. SUBJECT TO NEW INSTRUCTIONS - They have just discovered death watch beetle. UNSPOILED - Planning permission granted for field next door. UNUSUAL FEATURES - No roof. UNUSUAL LOCATION - In the path of a projected motorway. USEFUL OUTBUILDINGS - No inside toilet. WELL SITUATED - In full view of the neighbors. WITHIN EASY DISTANCE OF - Next door to a pub and opposite a sex shop local amenities.

Reply Subscribe

Thread Tools

Search this Thread

01-16-2007, 07:57 AM

jagman

Members

Thread Starter

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: UK

Posts: 153

Likes: 0

Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

My Ride: My Drive ……X5 3.0d Sport 2004, Sunroof, 6 Speed Auto, SATNAV, TV, Blue Tooth, Sterling Grey, Beige Leather, Folding Mirrors, Auto Dipping Mirrors, 6 CD, Poplar Wood Interior, Sun Protection Glass, Comfort Screen, Heated Seats. My Drive…… 530d Sport (E61) 2005, Carbon Black, Beige Leather, Auto, Comfort Seats, Panoramic Sun Roof, SATNAV Professional, 6 CD, ( Media Pack), Bi- Xenon’s Adaptive, Headlight Washers,Folding Mirrors, Sun Blinds, Sun Protection Glass, Advanced Air Conditioning / Heating, Blue Tooth with integrated Phone. Other Half’s Drive….318 Ci Sport, 2005, Graphite Grey, Red Leather, Full Sports Pack. Three sayings that can help with life “Shy boys get nothing” “You are confusing me with someone who gives a damn” “If you want a friend buy a dog”

Realtor (Estate Agents) Terms Explained

SOPHISTICATED CITY LIVING - Next to a noisy bar.
OLD WORLD CHARM - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.
CONTEMPORARY FEELING - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.
CLOSE TO LAKES - Impossible to park from April to October.
WIDE OPEN FLOOR PLAN - Previous owner removed supporting walls.
SECURITY SYSTEM - Neighbor has a dog.
NEEDS TLC - Major structural damage.
UPDATED KITCHEN - Sink no longer overflows.
MOTIVATED SELLER - Has been on the market for 14 years.
CONVENIENT - Located on freeway entrance ramp.
MINT - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.
NEUTRAL DECOR - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls.
MOVE IN CONDITION - Front door missing.
COZY - No room larger than 9 x 6.
LOWER LEVEL FAMILY ROOM - Ping Pong table over sewer opening.
LIGHT OPEN SPACES - Many holes in walls and ceiling.
OUTSTANDING - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.
A WEALTH OF PERIOD FEATURES - Yourself, dry rot, rising damp and an electrical circuit best operated in rubber gloves and wellies.
BOX ROOM - Suitable for accommodating one or two large cardboard boxes ... folded.
BY PRIVATE TREATY - If it went to auction it would never reach the reserve price.
COMPACT - Tiny.
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN'S RESIDENCE - No longer suitable for agricultural tenants.
DECEPTIVE APPEARANCE - It looks terrible.
DELIGHTFUL RURAL LOCATION - In flight path of nuclear bomber base.
EASILY MAINTAINED - Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid.
EXTENSIVELY MODERNIZED - Former DIY owner had a breakdown under the strain.
FOR THE GARDENING ENTHUSIAST - Grounds like a jungle.
LOCAL AUTHORITY GRANTS AVAILABLE - About to be condemned.
MUCH SOUGHT AFTER - It's been on the market at least twice before and still no one wants it.
OWNER EAGER TO SELL - If it goes within a week the subsidence cracks won't be noticed.
PARTIAL CENTRAL HEATING - The room above the boiler can get warm in summer.
PERIOD RESIDENCE - Built in the last two years.
QUIET, SECLUDED SETTING - On site of proposed dormitory town.
RARE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY - No one else want's it.
SELECT NEIGHBORHOOD - Beside sewage works.
SOLD - Unless idiots like you offer a higher price.
SUBJECT TO NEW INSTRUCTIONS - They have just discovered death watch beetle.
UNSPOILED - Planning permission granted for field next door.
UNUSUAL FEATURES - No roof.
UNUSUAL LOCATION - In the path of a projected motorway.
USEFUL OUTBUILDINGS - No inside toilet.
WELL SITUATED - In full view of the neighbors.
WITHIN EASY DISTANCE OF - Next door to a pub and opposite a sex shop local amenities.

Reply Like

01-19-2007, 07:34 AM

IrishEyes

Senior Members

Join Date: Dec 2004

Location: Dublin, Eire

Posts: 2,279

Likes: 0

Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jagman' post='379002' date='Jan 16 2007, 04:57 PM

Realtor (Estate Agents) Terms Explained