Onions and Trees
09-10-2006, 04:13 PM
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different type of tree. In his twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different type of tree. In his twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"
!
09-10-2006, 04:47 PM
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My Ride: 2007 Titanium Gray 550i, with sport, nav, HUD, Logic7, sat radio, cold weather, rear side airbags, rear seat heaters, and it goes like a bat outta hell!
oh gawd, this made me laugh.....I have to share it with my wife....she'll like it too...... 
09-11-2006, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by amigo525' post='333173' date='Sep 11 2006, 02:39 PM
So far I have to give a 10 out 10! 
Now the question is: where the word "willies" originated from?
Now the question is: where the word "willies" originated from?
09-17-2006, 08:45 AM
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My Ride: 530i M-sports package, carbon black,Beige leather dakota, Steptronic, active steering, anti-theft alarm, sunblinds for rear window and back seat window, interior and exterior mirror with anti-dazzel function, poplar brown dark, comfort seats, PDC, extended lights package, Hi-Fi loudspeakers, Innovation Package (contains Xenon, Headlight washers, adaptive headlights, Comfort access), automatic air-conditioning, professional radio, individual high gloss satine chrome,Sunroof
if only there was another smiley for laughing more than that
09-17-2006, 09:34 AM
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My Ride: 530i M-sports package, carbon black,Beige leather dakota, Steptronic, active steering, anti-theft alarm, sunblinds for rear window and back seat window, interior and exterior mirror with anti-dazzel function, poplar brown dark, comfort seats, PDC, extended lights package, Hi-Fi loudspeakers, Innovation Package (contains Xenon, Headlight washers, adaptive headlights, Comfort access), automatic air-conditioning, professional radio, individual high gloss satine chrome,Sunroof
quote name='Iceman' date='Sep 17 2006, 07:05 PM' post='335443']
There is:
Attachment 23849
i ll start using that one 
There is:
Attachment 23849
i ll start using that one