MEN STRIKE BACK
05-27-2006, 08:51 AM
#1
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Long Island, New York
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My Ride: 2005 525i Titanium Silver Metalic and 2003 325xi Jet Black with the Premium Package in both cars.
Here are some little tidbits titled: 
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth! LOL
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth! LOL
05-28-2006, 03:58 PM
#3
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Location: So. Cal 626
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My Ride: 2007 550i White/Black, SMG, Sports Pkg, Comfort Access, Nav, HUD, Satellite Radio, Anthracite Maple Trim
2006 X5 3.0, Black/Black, Sports Pkg, Premium Pkg, Xenon Adaptive Headlight, NAV, Rear Climate Pkg, Anthracite Trim
05-30-2006, 07:05 AM
#4
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Location: FLA - East Coast, USA
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My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
05-30-2006, 04:43 PM
#6
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My Ride: 2007 Titanium Gray 550i, with sport, nav, HUD, Logic7, sat radio, cold weather, rear side airbags, rear seat heaters, and it goes like a bat outta hell!
damn......I might laugh at this, but I can't stop burping and farting long enough to laugh.........
05-30-2006, 07:06 PM
#7
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Location: Hong Kong
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My Ride: In a place where the Mercedes density is the highest in the world (no. of MB per square kilometer) I choose a Bimmer, why? because of one thing "The Ultimate Driving Experience"
My Ride:
523i Steptronic, Silver Grey Exterior, Black Interior with Black Dakota Leather and Maple Wood Trim. Chrome Grill, Style 123 rim, Airbags everywhere, PDC, Rain sensor, Auto lights, Moveable front armrest, Advance Climate Control, Glass Sunroof, Auto dimming interior and exterior mirror with foldable functions, Extended Lights package, 6 CD changer in glove box, Power seats with memory, Power adjustable steering wheel, Power rear sunblinds.
Add ons: 123 wheels, chrome grill, K&N Hi flow filter, Eibach Pro Kit, e60.net decal and 24,000km
Past rides:
2001 Nissan Xterra SE
1999 E39 523i
1999 E46 323i
1996 Acura Integra LS
05-31-2006, 09:03 AM
#8
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dublin OH
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My Ride: Arrived 3 June 2005: 2005 545i - Orient Blue, Black interior, Sport, Steptronic, Cold Weather, NAV, Sirius, Logic7, Comfort Seats, Sunshades. What a glorious ride!
Equal time response from a random female I ran into:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
Apparently, as many as there are seats at the poker table.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because any self-respecting woman is likely to be grossed out by your four-week-old laundry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
From cramming them into those damn pointy-toed high heels you men insist we wear.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
She opens her mouth ?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
The last thing we women want is for you to start opening up our watches and scattering the parts all over the room.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Self-explanatory; men are full of hot air.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
If you?re as smart as you seem to think you are, you?ll let me in, and pronto.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
Lots of things. Look, I really don?t mind so much if you?re a pig ? so long as you?re MY pig.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Ha. Ha.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Maybe if you?d come home sober once in a while you?d find out how strong my sex drive really is. By the way, your good-looking stockbroker friend? He has a pretty good idea of what my sex drive is like these days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Of course, it has nothing to do with all the fried food you eat, the cigarettes you smoke, and the scotch you drink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
Good point. Doubt we women will ever be so delusional.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Damn right. And don?t you forget it, buster!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
Apparently, as many as there are seats at the poker table.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because any self-respecting woman is likely to be grossed out by your four-week-old laundry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
From cramming them into those damn pointy-toed high heels you men insist we wear.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
She opens her mouth ?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
The last thing we women want is for you to start opening up our watches and scattering the parts all over the room.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Self-explanatory; men are full of hot air.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
If you?re as smart as you seem to think you are, you?ll let me in, and pronto.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
Lots of things. Look, I really don?t mind so much if you?re a pig ? so long as you?re MY pig.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Ha. Ha.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Maybe if you?d come home sober once in a while you?d find out how strong my sex drive really is. By the way, your good-looking stockbroker friend? He has a pretty good idea of what my sex drive is like these days.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Of course, it has nothing to do with all the fried food you eat, the cigarettes you smoke, and the scotch you drink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
Good point. Doubt we women will ever be so delusional.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Damn right. And don?t you forget it, buster!
05-31-2006, 05:14 PM
#9
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Long Island, New York
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My Ride: 2005 525i Titanium Silver Metalic and 2003 325xi Jet Black with the Premium Package in both cars.
theres always 2 sides to every story
06-01-2006, 03:05 AM
#10
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My Ride: My Ride
Current:
2006 E60 M5
Past:
2005 Porsche Cayenne S
2003 Mercedes Benz S55 AMG
2002 Ferrari F360 F1
2002 BMW E46 M3 SMGII
1999 Lamborghini Diablo VT
1998 Ferrari F355 Spyder F1
1997 Ferrari F355 GTS
1997 BMW E36 M3
1997 Mercedes Benz C36 AMG
On Order:
(2007 July) Ferrari F430 Spyder F1