Licensed
02-18-2010, 02:55 AM
#1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicagoland (US)
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My Ride: 2005 545i with Sport Pkg, Nav, HUD, Cold Weather Pkg, Rear Shades
A guy sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender filled his mug and slid it down the bar.
While sliding down the bar, the mug hit a blond woman's boobs and splashed all over them...
The bartender went over, retrieved the mug and licked the beer off her breasts.
Each time the guy called for another beer this happened.
After his third beer, the guy decided to help the bartender out.
The next time the bartender hit her breasts, the man jumped up and started to lick them...
She decked him!
He was laying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady... Why'd you let the bartender lick your boobs, but not me?'
'Duh,' said the blonde, 'He has a licker license!'
The bartender filled his mug and slid it down the bar.
While sliding down the bar, the mug hit a blond woman's boobs and splashed all over them...
The bartender went over, retrieved the mug and licked the beer off her breasts.
Each time the guy called for another beer this happened.
After his third beer, the guy decided to help the bartender out.
The next time the bartender hit her breasts, the man jumped up and started to lick them...
She decked him!
He was laying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady... Why'd you let the bartender lick your boobs, but not me?'
'Duh,' said the blonde, 'He has a licker license!'
Oldie
02-18-2010, 06:03 AM
#4
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: St. Louis Burbs, USA
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My Ride: 2007 530i. Purchased 6/28/07. Titanium Silver Metallic, Black Dakota Leather, Dark Poplar Trim, Steptronic, Premium Package, Cold Weather Package, Bluetooth, Adaptive Control Xenons. 10/30/07 Added OEM 124s with 245/40/18 & 275/35/18 Michelin Pilot Sport A/S tires. Installed red Cal Covers� from BavAuto. 11/21/07 Added OEM all-weather floor mats (for winter, carpet in summer) and coat rack. 6/26/08 installed M5-style rear spoiler. 6/30/08 put on red reflectors. 8/22/08 Euro turn signal stickers applied. 3/20/09 Installed Shadowline Trim. 3/27/09 Added Matte Black Kidney Grilles from Trinity. 4/03/09 Installed Bimmian Shadow Matte Black 530i Badges. 4/04/09 Installed LED license plate lights from Trinity. 5/01/09 Installed Brabus Interior LED Kit and White Angel Eyes. 5/02/09 Put in Brabus 6K Fogs. 5/14/09 Removed charcoal filter. 5/15/09 Installed light smoke LED side marker lamps from Trinity. 5/21/09 Sprint Booster. 6/12/09 Painted exhaust tips flat black. 6/13/09 Pulled red Cal Covers and painted calipers low gloss black. 6/27/09 RPI Ram Air Scoop from Trinity. 8/15/09 Installed Brabus's silver invisibulbs front and rear. 9/24/09 Installed R-Dash license plate LEDs from Brabaus (John).
I got slammed for posting that one.
02-19-2010, 10:15 AM
#8
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My Ride: 2006 530i Sport
Silver Gray - Black Leather - Anthracite Maple
Manual Transmission
Premium Audio
Cold Weather Package
Rear sunshade
Sirius Radio
Autobahnd Roadblock (3M) film kit
I have a -true- story that is kind of a blond joke.
A couple of my employees were on a plane last week and they encountered a "country girl" as they put it - a young pharma rep.
She started talking about how she had just read "Brace for Impact", and how it was about "some pilot" (it's the book written by Capt. Chesley Sullenberger, the guy who landed the commercial flight in the Hudson).
Anyway, the funny part was that after explaining how inspired she had been by the book, she said she was planning to have "Brace for Impact" tatooed on the small of her back! Now we simply say "brace for impact" and everyone breaks out in a chuckle.
A couple of my employees were on a plane last week and they encountered a "country girl" as they put it - a young pharma rep.
She started talking about how she had just read "Brace for Impact", and how it was about "some pilot" (it's the book written by Capt. Chesley Sullenberger, the guy who landed the commercial flight in the Hudson).
Anyway, the funny part was that after explaining how inspired she had been by the book, she said she was planning to have "Brace for Impact" tatooed on the small of her back! Now we simply say "brace for impact" and everyone breaks out in a chuckle.
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