It's about that time....
12-18-2004, 02:34 PM
#21
Members
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 206
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Blonde Christmas Tree</span>
Two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde finally turned to the other and said, "I've had it. I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
Two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde finally turned to the other and said, "I've had it. I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
12-18-2004, 02:36 PM
#23
Members
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Joppa, Maryland
Posts: 206
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Bronx Night Before Christmas</span>
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun unda my pillow.
When up on da roof'
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my Wanderin'
eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer.
Wit' a bad hackin' cough,
And da stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
Down came his boot
On da top a my head.
His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b.o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had a mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in my eye,
And he twisted my head,
He soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He let out some gas,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
? screaming,
And away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.
But I heard him exclaim,
Or better yet grump,
"Merry Christmas to all, and
Bite me, ya hump!"
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun unda my pillow.
When up on da roof'
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my Wanderin'
eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer.
Wit' a bad hackin' cough,
And da stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
Down came his boot
On da top a my head.
His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b.o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had a mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in my eye,
And he twisted my head,
He soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He let out some gas,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
? screaming,
And away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.
But I heard him exclaim,
Or better yet grump,
"Merry Christmas to all, and
Bite me, ya hump!"
12-18-2004, 02:56 PM
#24
Senior Members
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin, Eire
Posts: 2,279
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
THE THREE WISE WOMEN
What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.
But what they would have said when they left...?
"Did you SEE the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?"
"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!"
"Virgin, my arse! I knew her in school!"
"Can you believe that they let all of those disgusting animals in the house?"
"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!"
"And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!"
"Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back?"
12-19-2004, 10:17 AM
#26
Senior Members
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin, Eire
Posts: 2,279
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
12-21-2004, 12:45 AM
#27
Contributors
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Frederick Maryland
Posts: 710
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Iceman' date='Dec 17 2004, 01:39 AM
I posted Santa Claus pics earlier...
The first one in this thread is one of the pics I posted too in another thread...
The first one in this thread is one of the pics I posted too in another thread...
[snapback]69764[/snapback]
Here's an interesting (PG-13) advent calendar....
http://home.comcast.net/~papaganoosh...entBoobies.swf
12-21-2004, 06:10 AM
#29
Senior Members
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dublin, Eire
Posts: 2,279
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: Collected Sept 2009 - BMW E90 M3, Silverstone II, Novillo Black leather, 19" M Double-Spoke alloys, High Beam Assist, Electronic Damper Control, Voice Control, PDC, USB, DAB, High Gloss Shadowline, Sliding armrest, Trim Finishing in aluminium grey.
Looking at the consequences , maybe it should be a full racing harness....
.