For Irish Eyes!
02-02-2005, 02:02 PM
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My Ride: COMING!! 2006 M5 - December build - January delivery.
2004 530i - Silver Gray Metallic; Black Leather; Premium Pkg; Premium Sound Pkg; Cold Weather Pkg; Steptronic; Comfort Seats; Glass Moonroof; Rear Side Airbags; Adaptive Bi-xenon; Euro Rear Reflectors - Delivered 12/3/03
2003 M3 - Carbon Black Metallic; Black Leather; Premium Pkg; Park Distance Control; Xenon; Hardon-Kardon; Alum Int. Trim; SMG - Delivered 2/17/03
One fine day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints and became stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!
02-02-2005, 02:52 PM
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Location: Dublin, Eire
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And rightly so too.
PS - I think I'll have to create a new account and say I'm from somewhere inconspicuous - like Tuvalu. One of it's main industries there, believe it or not, is Phone Sex. Mustn't be any hookers on the Island. On second thoughts won't be going there. Don't have a BMW dealership. Or roads.
02-02-2005, 07:16 PM
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2003 M3 - Carbon Black Metallic; Black Leather; Premium Pkg; Park Distance Control; Xenon; Hardon-Kardon; Alum Int. Trim; SMG - Delivered 2/17/03
An Irish priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions...
A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession, "Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession. These are my sins: Last night I had sex with Coochie Green."
"That is your sin" the priest asked?
"Yes, Father." the man replied.
"You are forgiven, go out and say one "Our Father" the priest said. The man does so and leaves.
Soon, another enters and kneels, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession" the man starts, "these are my sins: I have had sex with Coochie Green every week for the last month."
The priest thinks to himself this Coochie Green woman is fairly popular with his male parishioners... "Those are your sins" he asks?
"Yes, Father" The man replies.
"You are forgiven. Go out and say three "Hail Marys" the priest says. The man does so and leaves.
Soon, another man enters and kneels down and starts his confession, "Father, it has been six months since my last confession and these are my sins: I have had sex with Coochie Green twice a week for the last six months."
This time, the priest has to ask , "Who is this Coochie Green?"
"Just a woman I know, Father" replied the male parishioner.
"Very well" the priest replied, "you are forgiven, go out and say ten "Hail Marys." The priest closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering who this Coochie Green woman is. The next morning, the priest is up in front of his congregation saying mass. The doors fly open in the back of the church and in walks this woman. She's a tall redhead with long gorgeous hair, a green sequin dress, green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather coming from it. She walked straight up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest, her knees apart. The priest cannot help but stop and stare. He finally catches himself and leans over to ask the altar boy, "Pssssst is that Coochie Green?"
The altar boy has a look and says, "No, Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."
A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession, "Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession. These are my sins: Last night I had sex with Coochie Green."
"That is your sin" the priest asked?
"Yes, Father." the man replied.
"You are forgiven, go out and say one "Our Father" the priest said. The man does so and leaves.
Soon, another enters and kneels, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession" the man starts, "these are my sins: I have had sex with Coochie Green every week for the last month."
The priest thinks to himself this Coochie Green woman is fairly popular with his male parishioners... "Those are your sins" he asks?
"Yes, Father" The man replies.
"You are forgiven. Go out and say three "Hail Marys" the priest says. The man does so and leaves.
Soon, another man enters and kneels down and starts his confession, "Father, it has been six months since my last confession and these are my sins: I have had sex with Coochie Green twice a week for the last six months."
This time, the priest has to ask , "Who is this Coochie Green?"
"Just a woman I know, Father" replied the male parishioner.
"Very well" the priest replied, "you are forgiven, go out and say ten "Hail Marys." The priest closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering who this Coochie Green woman is. The next morning, the priest is up in front of his congregation saying mass. The doors fly open in the back of the church and in walks this woman. She's a tall redhead with long gorgeous hair, a green sequin dress, green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather coming from it. She walked straight up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest, her knees apart. The priest cannot help but stop and stare. He finally catches himself and leans over to ask the altar boy, "Pssssst is that Coochie Green?"
The altar boy has a look and says, "No, Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."
02-03-2005, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by pbsaj' date='Feb 3 2005, 05:16 AM
The altar boy has a look and says, "No, Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."
[snapback]86295[/snapback]
I a similiar joke where a stripper was called Fanny Browne. She'd been off the circuit for a while and returned after a long absence. While doing her routine, one punter asks the other ' is that Fanny Browne' to which the reply was - 'no, it's just the way the light is shining on it'...
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