I need a raise
04-13-2007, 09:48 AM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: North of Boston, Ma
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I, the Penis hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
>
>
>
> 1. I do physical labor.
>
> 2. I work at great depths.
>
> 3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
>
> 4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>
> 5. I work in a damp environment.
>
> 6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
>
> 7. I work in high temperatures.
>
> 8. My work exposes me to diseases.
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Penis,
>
>
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the
> arguments you have raised, the management denies
> YOUR request for the following reasons:
>
>
>
> 1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
>
> 2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS & fall asleep after EACH
> brief work period.
>
> 3. You do not always follow the orders of the
> management team.
>
> 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are
> often seen visiting other locations.
>
> 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be
> pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
>
> 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
> of your shift.
>
> 7. You don't always observe necessary safety
> regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
> clothing.
>
> 8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
>
> 9. You are unable to work double shifts.
>
> 10. You sometimes leave your designated work area
> before you have completed the assigned task.
>
> 11. And if that were not all, you have constantly
> been seen entering and exiting the workplace
> carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
the following reasons:
>
>
>
> 1. I do physical labor.
>
> 2. I work at great depths.
>
> 3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
>
> 4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>
> 5. I work in a damp environment.
>
> 6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
>
> 7. I work in high temperatures.
>
> 8. My work exposes me to diseases.
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Penis,
>
>
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the
> arguments you have raised, the management denies
> YOUR request for the following reasons:
>
>
>
> 1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
>
> 2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS & fall asleep after EACH
> brief work period.
>
> 3. You do not always follow the orders of the
> management team.
>
> 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are
> often seen visiting other locations.
>
> 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be
> pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
>
> 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
> of your shift.
>
> 7. You don't always observe necessary safety
> regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
> clothing.
>
> 8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
>
> 9. You are unable to work double shifts.
>
> 10. You sometimes leave your designated work area
> before you have completed the assigned task.
>
> 11. And if that were not all, you have constantly
> been seen entering and exiting the workplace
> carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
04-13-2007, 03:01 PM
#4
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: So. Cal 626
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My Ride: 2007 550i White/Black, SMG, Sports Pkg, Comfort Access, Nav, HUD, Satellite Radio, Anthracite Maple Trim
2006 X5 3.0, Black/Black, Sports Pkg, Premium Pkg, Xenon Adaptive Headlight, NAV, Rear Climate Pkg, Anthracite Trim
04-13-2007, 09:21 PM
#5
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Location: Anaheim, CA
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My Ride: F13 M6
hahaha good one.
random moment.. i was just reading this to my gf on the phone... just realized how you could just crack up and others find it so amusing when saying "i, the penis" and "dear penis" hahaha
random moment.. i was just reading this to my gf on the phone... just realized how you could just crack up and others find it so amusing when saying "i, the penis" and "dear penis" hahaha
