How to shower like a ....
12-21-2006, 09:40 AM
#1
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Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make
mental note to do : more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off - Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo
sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
Have a great day!
(Oh, and... woo-woo!!!)
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make
mental note to do : more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off - Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo
sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
Have a great day!
(Oh, and... woo-woo!!!)
12-21-2006, 12:09 PM
#2
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Diego, CA
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My Ride: 2007 E63 AMG | Obsidian Black | Schwarzes Nappa | Black BirdEye Maple | Premium II Package | Electronic Trunk Closer | Parktronic
Engine: RPi/Powerchips custom ECU tune, RPi Ram Air Kit (BMC filter, scoops), RennTech Sport exhaust, secondary cats, charcoal and resonator delete, custom AAA x-pipe
Exterior: 50% side windows / 35% rear window Formula One Pinnacle Series | Flat AMG hood emblem
Suspension: Renntech Lowering Module
Wheels/Tires: Radenergie R10, Falken FK452 245/30/20, Yokohama ADVAN Sport 285/25/20
-----------------------------------------
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Engine: Custom AFE CAI, Superchips ECU remap, Sprint Booster, RDSport Dual Exhaust Conversion with Quad Pipes and X-pipe, 3 resonators deleted, 90mm tips!
Exterior: M-Tech Aero kit | M5 Mirrors | M5 Rear Bumper | Trunk Lid Finisher | Vorsteiner decklid spoiler | 50% Formula One Pinnacle Tint
Suspension and Brakes: Bilstein PSS9 coilovers, JBT BBK: 16" cross-drilled rotors, 8 piston and 15" cross-drilled rotors, 4 piston
Wheels: VIP Modular VR 02 20x9F, 20x10R | Toyo T1R 245/30/20F, 285/25/20R
Lights: PIAA 4150K Xtreme White Plus fog lights, AIB v3
MOST IMPORTANT: Hardwired V1; =)
ED Date: 4/7/05, Re-delivery date: 5/21/05
12-21-2006, 02:37 PM
#6
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Location: Bahrain
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My Ride: 2005 525i : Alpine White, Steptronic, Black Interior with Amethyst Leather & Popular Grain Brown, 17" 122-Style Rims, Adaptive Bi-Xenon Headlights, Auto Dimming & Folding Mirrors, Advanced A/C, Sports Steering Wheel, Electrically Adjustable Steering Column, Extended Lighting Package, PDC, Sliding Armrest, Bus Navi, Hi-Fi Sound System (MP3 DVDs), CD Changer, Rear Sunshades..
MODS:M-tech front bumper, Painted Grill, Installed Aux-In, Garage Door Opener (Overhead Compartement), ///M Steering wheel, Wood hand brake trim, Wood gear-shift lever. 35% Tint all around..
Got, ACS Roof Spoiler, but not installed..
woo-woo
12-22-2006, 04:08 AM
#7
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Location: UK
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My Ride: My Drive ……X5 3.0d Sport 2004, Sunroof, 6 Speed Auto, SATNAV, TV, Blue Tooth, Sterling Grey, Beige Leather, Folding Mirrors, Auto Dipping Mirrors, 6 CD, Poplar Wood Interior, Sun Protection Glass, Comfort Screen, Heated Seats.
My Drive…… 530d Sport (E61) 2005, Carbon Black, Beige Leather, Auto, Comfort Seats, Panoramic Sun Roof, SATNAV Professional, 6 CD, ( Media Pack), Bi- Xenon’s Adaptive, Headlight Washers,Folding Mirrors, Sun Blinds, Sun Protection Glass, Advanced Air Conditioning / Heating, Blue Tooth with integrated Phone.
Other Half’s Drive….318 Ci Sport, 2005, Graphite Grey, Red Leather, Full Sports Pack.
Three sayings that can help with life
“Shy boys get nothing”
“You are confusing me with someone who gives a damn”
“If you want a friend buy a dog”
12-26-2006, 10:17 AM
#9
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My Ride: (USA) 645Ci, Silver Gray, Chateau, Cold Weather PKG, Premium Sound PKG, Sport PKG, Step, NAV [Std Equip in 645], HUD, Satellite (SIRIUS) Radio, Aux Input, Bluetooth enabled using iPhone 3GS w/ adapter cradle - Build date - 01/05, Baby delivered 2/24/05
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