Hitman golfing partner
04-21-2005, 03:19 AM
#1
Contributors
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Cheshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 766
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: 520d GT, Blue, Beige Dakota Leather, Pro Sat Nav, Interior Lights Pack, Adaptive Lights, Advanced Aircon
One morning, a man approached the first tee, only to find another guy approaching from the other side.
They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together.
After teeing off, they set off down the fairway, continuing their chat.
"What do you do?" the first man asked.
"I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hitman for the mob," replied the second man.
The hitman noticed that the 1st guy started getting a little nervous and continued.
"Yeah. I'm the highest paid guy in the business. I'm the best." He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy,
high powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived.
Still nervous the man replied, "In a subdivision just west of here."
The hitman placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked "What colour roof ya' got?"
"Grey."
Then he asked "What colour siding?"
"Yellow."
"You got a silver Toyota?"
"Yeah," replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the
accuracy of the hitman's equipment. "That's my wife's car."
"That your red pickup next to it?"
Looking baffled the man asked if he could look through the scope.
Looking through the sights, he said "Hell. That's my buddy Jeff's truck. What the hell is he doing there if I'm.....?"
The hitman looked through the scope once more. "Your wife a blond?"
"Yeah."
Your buddy got black hair?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I don't know how to tell you, but I think you've got a problem.
They're going at it like a couple of teenagers in there." said the hitman.
"Problem??! THEY'VE got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them Right now!"
The hitman paused and said, "Sure. But it'll cost you. Like I said, I'm the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot."
"I don't care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the balls!"
The hitman agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking careful aim.
He then said, "You know what buddy.This is your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!"
They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together.
After teeing off, they set off down the fairway, continuing their chat.
"What do you do?" the first man asked.
"I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hitman for the mob," replied the second man.
The hitman noticed that the 1st guy started getting a little nervous and continued.
"Yeah. I'm the highest paid guy in the business. I'm the best." He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy,
high powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived.
Still nervous the man replied, "In a subdivision just west of here."
The hitman placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked "What colour roof ya' got?"
"Grey."
Then he asked "What colour siding?"
"Yellow."
"You got a silver Toyota?"
"Yeah," replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the
accuracy of the hitman's equipment. "That's my wife's car."
"That your red pickup next to it?"
Looking baffled the man asked if he could look through the scope.
Looking through the sights, he said "Hell. That's my buddy Jeff's truck. What the hell is he doing there if I'm.....?"
The hitman looked through the scope once more. "Your wife a blond?"
"Yeah."
Your buddy got black hair?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I don't know how to tell you, but I think you've got a problem.
They're going at it like a couple of teenagers in there." said the hitman.
"Problem??! THEY'VE got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them Right now!"
The hitman paused and said, "Sure. But it'll cost you. Like I said, I'm the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot."
"I don't care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the balls!"
The hitman agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking careful aim.
He then said, "You know what buddy.This is your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!"
04-21-2005, 04:22 AM
#2
Contributors
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 3,374
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: [i][b][u]Since 19 august 2004[/u][/b][/i]: [color=red][b]530i[/b] High Executive[/color], Silvergray with beige interior, Popular wood, Servotronic, Sportssuspension, electric foldable and dimmed mirrors, dimmed interior mirror, pappelmaser braun wood, cupholders, styling 123 18" wheels, Logic 7, Steptronic, alarm class 3, electric sunscreen in the rear and suncreens for sidewindows, Comfort seats, heated seats, Xenon with headlightwashers, Adaptive corner lights ALC, Advanced airconditioning, lightpackage, Nav Pro, 6 cd changer, side airbags rearseats, bluetooth siemens S55, chrome kidneys, gearlever with wood, voice recognition retrofit, front windshield with green band.
Waiting for trunkopener button from Hobi :)
I could almost see that situation hehehehe.. 
04-21-2005, 12:46 PM
#4
Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 18,253
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My Ride: F02 LCI Individual
Model Year: 2013
Originally Posted by 530E60NL' date='Apr 21 2005, 02:22 PM
I could almost see that situation hehehehe..? ?
? [snapback]118015[/snapback]
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
umnitza
Vendor Classifieds
1
09-02-2015 11:28 AM