HELL or HEAVEN
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a lift and it went down-down-down to Hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked with, and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the lift.
The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity".
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great, but I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her friends were dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff..."
The moral of this story:
Never believe what you see in the company or what they promised you.
It turns out to be shit always.
"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a lift and it went down-down-down to Hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked with, and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the lift.
The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity".
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great, but I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her friends were dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff..."
The moral of this story:
Never believe what you see in the company or what they promised you.
It turns out to be shit always.
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Okay, this is freaky. This very evening, at the exact same time you posted this message (give or take a half-hour), I was told the exact same joke by a politician except that for the punchline, he said "Yesterday we were campaigning but today you've voted!"
That's plain scary...
That's plain scary...
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Originally Posted by Rudy' date='Apr 27 2005, 08:31 PM
Okay, this is freaky.? This very evening, at the exact same time you posted this message (give or take a half-hour), I was told the exact same joke by a politician except that for the punchline, he said "Yesterday we were campaigning but today you've voted!"
That's plain scary...
That's plain scary...
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Originally Posted by Rudy' date='Apr 27 2005, 03:31 PM
Okay, this is freaky.? This very evening, at the exact same time you posted this message (give or take a half-hour), I was told the exact same joke by a politician except that for the punchline, he said "Yesterday we were campaigning but today you've voted!"
That's plain scary...
That's plain scary...
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